Is he losing interest in me

I am in a relationship with a fellow for nearly 3 years and I feel that his feelings are not all there anymore. How do I tell that he feels for me as I feel for him? Just the other night after not being together for 5 days intimately. See each other every day but do not live together. Nothing happened. He lost his erection and I felt like crap! He assures me that it was because he had a few drinks of alcohol. True or not? I felt like just picking up and going home but he won't allow it. He tries to reassure me that it is not me and I am desirable to him. I am overweight and I feel that is the major problem. When we met I am the weight I am today. How can someone that is horny lose all desire instantly. Guys help out here and gals if you are reading this and this has happened to you how do you cope with it. I feel very strongly that intimacy is the #1 thing in a relationship and right now I feel I am losing the man I love!. This has happened a few times and the same explanation and I feel that is a copout. Am I being paranoid? He is a widower and still has pictures of his loving departed wife still in the living room and his bedroom and some of her personal belongings still remain around the house.

 

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What Guys Said 1

  • Let's see. The following statements are true and should help you process this:

    1. You can talk to him about how he feels about you. If you trust him to be honest, then you have your answer.

    2. Normal guys, even if totally "into" you, especially in the 36 to 45 range or older, can and someday will lose their erections from time to time. If this happens a lot, he (or perhaps the two of you) have a sexual issue to go get help about. Maybe mental, maybe middle age ED time for Viagra. But if its just a "few times" out of many, well, show some sympathy for what it means to have sex when getting older. It happens, especially when drinking, tired, stressed about work, so on.

    3. If he's overly tied to his dead wife, maybe there is something more going on in his mind though.

    Now, pictures on the wall don't necessarily mean that, but I bet you know whether that's it or if there's much more going on. If you two live together, its probably time to (respectfully) talk about what to do with some of those pictures, since its your home now. Meaning, he can probably put some stuff in a box, or keep the photos in his study rather than front and center in the living and bedroom. I mean, she is is dead wife; don't ask him to forget or stop caring about her, just explain how it makes you feel in your own home. However, after 3 years, if you're NOT living together, AND her pix are still up, AND he's having frequent sex trouble when with you, well, your concerns are at least more likely to be valid not imagined.

    That all said, its most likely that your sleeping with a 45 year old guy who has a little trouble staying hard after a few drinks and is unaware how the pictures of his dead wife are making you feel; that is all.

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