Why do you ask about number of sexual partners?

Guys, how do you all feel about girls and knowing their past sexual history. I've always maintained an open and honest policy and when guys ask that question that ya'll always ask "How many guys have you been with? " I tell the truth. I am learning now that I am NEVER supposed to reveal this information to a guy. And my ex admitted that although he knows my sexual history doesn't define who I am as a person, it was something he could never look past. So my question is if you guys NEVER really want to know this information, WHY do you always ask and what about it turns you off so much that you can never get the number out of your head?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I ask to get an idea if this girl is safe to sleep with. :)

    If the number is on the large side, then I worry about stds, and I would rather not risk it.

    Now, other guys just want to know to see if you are an easy girl or not; if they hear a large number, then they know they have a chance. If you're in a relationship, and a guy is pursuing you to be in one, then a large number turn guys off cause most guys don't want to be with what they consider a slut. Now, what's a large number? Well that depends; you could have had 5 long term bf's, and that's ok; but you could have had 5 guys in a month, and many guys will think that's not ok. But yea, some guys have a girl every month and that's perfectly fine. Don't you love the double standards? :)


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What Guys Said 6

  • LOL this is funny because this one time I was on a date with a girl and she asked

    "How many people have you slept with? "

    I thought the question was a little inappropriate, but I figured it would come up down the road anyway. Why not get it out of the way when are feelings aren't so strong, ya know?

    So anyway, she asks me and I tell her "Well you asked me first so why don't you answer first" She told me like 5-6. Then she was like "Ok now you. "

    I was like "1" and it was the truth. She became silent instantly and realized what kind of hole she just dug herself. She told she felt like such a slut. Lol

    I honestly didn't care. I would have probably slept with more people too but, I had only been in one long relationship before that time. If she told me like 10-20 I may have began to have gotten a little turned off.

  • Guys wonder because a huge number makes them think you won't be satisfied by just him. A tiny number is typically good, though 0 or 1 might make him nervous that you don't know much about sex and might get curious someday, and thus not be satisfied by just him.

    IOW there is no good answer. Though a small number, less than his, and true (that's a keyword; don't get caught in a lie) is probably the best possible scenario here.

    The only point of knowing the number is to pass judgment on that number. So, if you don't want the judgment don't share (and don't ask his number). Tell him that it doesn't matter and its private and he has to deal with it. You'll at least find out if he's a control freak that doesn't trust you because if he is, he won't be able to deal. If he's cool, you have a good guy there (though he will still wonder internally.)

  • truthcanhurt REALLY nailed it on the head! I have a bad sexual past, 100women, always safe and clean, but I have a double standard with the women I date because it would see them as a slutty person.an issue I have to get over but nonetheless, because men and women take sex different ways and the meanings associated, that's why there will always be the "stud vs slut" syndrome

  • It's an interesting question you are asking. But, I've never asked a girl about her sexual history. It really doesn't interest me.

    I figure, if there's something about it that she thinks I need to know, she'll tell me on her own. ;-)

  • I like honesty myself and even if the number was high it would never change how I felt about a person cause you don't love them for who they were you love them for who they ARE!!

  • Guys do not want to have a "serious" relationship with a girl who has slept with several other guys. Bottom line is, guys CAN'T STAND thinking about a girl he has true feelings for having ANY type of intimate moments with another guy. He asks you because its an answer to a question that all guys need to know before they can truly respect a girl. I believe, once a whore, always a whore. I hate to cock block, but young girls need to realize that choices they make when they are young can seriously hinder their chances of landing "Prince Charming". Guys. just remember, if you are willing to ask the question you should be prepared to answer the same one with honesty.


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