I want to go to a birthday party tonight but I know boyfriend won't be happy if I go what do I do?
Me and my boyfriend have been together for a little over a year and I care about him do much but since we got together I feel like I've lost touch with a lot of my old friends. A lot of my old fiends are going to a friends birthday party tonight so I really would like to go but Because there will be drinkin I know my boyfriend won't like it at all and I invite but hell say no he doesn't want to go please help I don't know what to do I don't want to upset him but I also would like to see my friends again
What's Your Opinion?
Most Helpful Opinion
Sometimes there needs to be give and take in a relationship. Sometimes it might be better to not do something just because the other person doesn't want you to. But this seems like something you really want to do. You should not be expected to drop all your old friends because of your boyfriend.
Does he really not like drinking? Or is that just an excuse? If he really doesn't like drinking maybe try explaining to him that it's important to you. Then make a compromise and promise not to drink yourself. Then stick to your promise.
I lived with an alcoholic for years, so I understand how some people can really be against drinking. But I think he's being a little unreasonable here. You just have to weigh how important this is to you and much it will hurt the relationship if you do it against his wishes. He can't control you. But sometimes you just have to make compromises to make the relationship work. You should never have to drop your old friends, but this one party is not your only chance to spend time with them. Compromise at times, but don't let it become one-sided.
What Guys Said 9
Before I even opened this question and read the rest of it, I already had an idea it would be an unreasonably jealous boyfriend.
He's afraid that if you drink, something bad will happen because you aren't in the right frame of mind and don't have any self-control.
It's an insecurity he needs to work on because it's affecting you and your friends if you can't even go see them in peace. He needs to get over it.
My mom used to tell me boy/girlfriends WILL come and go but don't let that get in the way of your PARTY FRIENDS a new partner is just around the corner.
My mom used to tell me boy/girlfriends are like a bus another one will be along shortly one that will take you to the party.
I WONDER HOW MOM GOT TO BE SO SMART?
do whatever you want. if he can't trust you to be around friends than its his problem and you should break up with him.
the fact that he doesn't want to ever hang out with your friends himself is bad enough. I like hanging out with my GF's friends at least occasionally. if theyre important to her than id like to know them. obviously I don't want to impose and go every time but its nice to know them. Maybe if your Boyfriend met your friends and had a couple of drinks with them he'd realize that its ok?
the only thing that would cause someone to act like that is if they don't trust you, or they are insecure with themselves, or both. either way, if he can't get over it and let you be happy and have fun with friends than you need to move on. a good partner in a relationship supports your friendships
Go to the party. While you're at the party, call him once or twice. Tell him that you totally understand that he didn't really want to go, and you're okay with that, but you still miss him. Tell him you're having fun, and it's nice catching up with your friends, but it would have been better with him there. Also, make sure you aren't getting drunk, and make sure you've got friends to watch your back, and let him know those things too, so he doesn't worry.
Send him a picture or two of you together with your girl friends. Caption it "Havin' fun with my girls!" Let him see that you're having fun, but not being "stupid" in any way.
All of those things will make him feel better, will let him know that you're thinking about him, and will help him trust you to spend time with your friends more, because he knows he doesn't have to worry about your safety or be jealous.
If the problem is the drinking, go and don't or barely drink. If you want to be with your friends, I'd imagine the drinking isn't all that important for you and knowing that you behaved classy will make him happy. Tell him how it went and that you respected his concerns, that gets him involved even if he's not there. Both sides are happy, I would hope.