I got an illegal immigrant pregnant. She will probably get married to someone else soon. Should I be involved?
I was in a dead end relationship with a girl. It was bad pretty much from the beginning. She broke up with me right after she found out she was... Show More
Most Helpful Opinion
It depends how far into the pregnancy she is.
If she's still in the first trimester, you could move for injunctive relief. You could move to compel her to undergo an abortion, or in the alternative, give you the right (after the birth of the child) to adopt the child out without her consent, or in the alternative, have both her and the child be estopped from seeking financial support from you or any government entity (because then the government will seek indemnity or contribution from you). The last catch-all alternative will have the effect of getting her to seriously consider abortion if she's still in the first trimester, consider adopting the child out if she cannot afford supporting the child on her own, or mustering up financial support from her family or other men in her life to support her dreams of being a mommy and having a baby.
If she's late into her pregnancy, you're SOoL (sh*t out of luck). The only thing you can do now is absolutely not get involved with her or her child whatsoever. In fact, make every effort to introduce her to new guys, and even try to encourage those guys to get involved with her child. That way, her and her child can be estopped from trying to go after you as the biological father. It's called paternity by estoppel (or paternal estoppel). If it looks like the father, if it acts like the father, if the child calls it dad, if it calls the child son or daughter, then as far as the law cares, it's the father. Paternal estoppel is so powerful the father by estoppel can actually legally prevent the biological father from having access to the child. The sword, however, cuts both ways. If the mother or child attempt to go after the biological father for financial support, the biological father can simply point to the father by estoppel.
Custody and support go hand-in-hand. If you cut off the "right" to custody, then you necessarily cut off the "obligation" of support. So, for as long as paternity was established, and it was first established by estoppel, the biological father has neither a "right" to custody over the child, nor an "obligation" to support the child. The father by estoppel can literally exclude the biological father from even visiting or associating with his biological child. The child, mother, and father by estoppel, however, cannot go after the biological father for child support. That's the double-edged sword that is paternity by estoppel.
So, start helping her sign up for an eharmony and match.com account lol
What Girls Said 2
You are an adult. You willingly engaged in sexual relations with a grown Woman. You know no birth control is 100% effective. She is regnant. Yo are both legally responsible for the child.
If you can't deal with the potential consequences of Intercourse, I suggest you keep your dck wrapped up and out of commition. Instead of trying to weasel out of it after the fact.
You say you'll support her but are trying to think of all sorts of ways to get rid of her. The child is a child.It will need more than money. As you yourself realized.
If you doubt her judgement so much, that's really not a good reason to be outside of the childs life. it doesn't care if you guys were breaking up. its got nothing to do with the fact it will becoming into tihs world and will need care.
Perhaps you should have stopped f***ing, but you did not. deal with it.
Describing her as a card/ gold digger, doesn't make you come out looking better. It just makes you look like a coward trying to thwart responsability. You are the Dad.
im gonna have to agree with toulouse on this one...
and also, you're a horrible man. shame on you.
What Guys Said 3
Wow this sounds like one of the immigrant mindset. Don't get me wrong, I was once an immigrant but now I am a citizen so I can totally relate to your story.
I don't know where this value or moral came from, but some female immigrants get pregnant ON PURPOSE to use her child as a financial stepping stone for her family, her loved one (her ex-fiance on your case), or just for herself.
There was a case and a new rule a couple of years ago, about Chinese women coming here as pregnant women, and giving birth HERE in the united states.
If a child is born here in the united states, he/she is an natural born American citizen and there is a law about forbidding to kickout the illegal mother if her son/daughter is born.
So there you go, do you wanna get involved? Involved in what? A scam? How will the child feel when he/she finds out his/her mother didn't have any intentions of giving birth to their child other than for her own benefits?
Don't get involved. Any more involvement and you'll just be tainting your name.
Also, at least, be responsible for the child.