Guys who get friend zoned take partial blame for not making that they have interest. They sit there, being the "nice guy" and then whine and complain that their lack of initiative isn't working in their favor. Honestly, some deserve to be friends zoned. If you're gonna be that passive in getting the girl I'm sure that'll fare well in a relationship. *cough* As for the rest, it can be lame as hell but some need to realize that not everyone that you like will like you back. I've been in the same boat so I can empathize.
As far as "mean," you're doing two extremes here. I'd rather a woman speak up to a guy who's being a user. Too many silly girls fall for that crap because of the bs spewed in the media and chick flicks, making them believe that these jerks are really wounded souls and they need some nurturing. The reality is that they're d***s and have found a way to work the system to their benefit. Why them refusing to deal with this asinine bs makes them crazy makes me wonder what's going on with your logic. You WANT them to put up with the jerks or not?
And if you want to go into an entire thing as to what makes women crazy? Read George Carlin's book, "When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?" He has several pages, listing everything that women have to deal with and he empathizes why so many go "crazy." Society is still very beneficial to males generally and that combined with the increase of selfish douchebaggery (on both sides) and the media assaulting girls as soon as they can comprehend, it's no wonder you see such ridiculous behavior. I'm also seeing quite a bit of bs on the male side as well from being bombarded by media influence. A lot of immaturity and lack of taking responsibility for ones' actions. Way too much entitlement going on out there with each younger generation (both sides).
Some females really do need a reality check and I put them in line when they behave like a stereotype. But if you think about all the contributing factors? Yeah. Not surprising that females get pegged as crazy. There's so much selfish bs that society has conditioned men to be from birth. I know not all guys are like this, but it sure as hell exists. I've seen some amazing examples in the past year, and wow.
As for the guys who continue to whine and play victim to the bs from these girls with issues, wake the hell up and learn to filter your choices better. Most of the complaints I see on here are guys falling for some idiot chick and tolerating stupid bs. Oh girls fall for the bad boy? You wusses fall for the bad girl. It happens on both sides. Instead of letting your ego get all butthurt, why don't you just learn from these experiences?
As far as what they want, every one is different. Try asking them and getting to know them. If they end up being a stereotype and confuse you, find someone else. It's that simple.