sorry, can't make it short:) we are not teens, but mature adults he will turn 40 and i am 42.he is divorced w 4 kids @ home (12,16,16,18)& a manipulating exwife who he thinks is one of his best friends.i have one 14yog.his ex recently got dui & they may want her to do jail time (she worked for the jail so lost her job, her car, herlicense and her home), his 18 yos was enlisted in army was scheduled to leave in aug to bootcamp, but arrested for joyriding and petty theft and is in jail. his 16 yos does not get along with neice (she is hard to get along with) and at Easter dinner was disrespectful and called her a "hoe" as she walked past. my brotherinlaw blew up on him. bf told me that was the final straw and his ex said the kids hate me and i am coming between them. he said our families clash too much and although he loves me and knows there is noone better; he doesn't want to date, just wants to be friends because he is too stressed w kids and ex and how our family gets along to handle a relationship. he needs time because he feels his family is falling apart and acting out and he needs to concentrate on them and its just easier when he isn't in a relationship. contrary to this- a few weeks ago he wanted me to move in with them. b4 the breakup he said the problems we had were just speed bumps and would only make us stronger. he hasn't unfriended me online, our relationship status and our photos are still up. I'm thinking he is just overwhelmed and needs to know if and/or for how long both his ex and his son will be in jail for. get through the stress & have a plan. how close should i be, should i contact him often, should i let him lead? is it over? is there a way to make him realize after he reduces some of his stress that his ex is speaking her feelings and passing them to him as "his children feel" as she tells him the kids will talk to her, but when they talk to him or my daughter they love me and want us to be together.
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You need to tell your bf that he shouldn't be doing this alone. You two have had two years together and he said it himself its just speed bumps. Though the question I have to ask is is his ex manipulating his family to move against you as well. You need to tell him you are there for him and want to go through this with him. If he is not willing to do this together than you have to ask yourself is he going to do this everytime things get rough. The other this is I understand he is stuck dealing with his ex, because of the kids, but at the same point he doesn't have to let her run his life. Its again a you or her scenario. If he wants you, he will do what he needs to do and have you there with him. If he is too torn, then you have to wonder what he was thinking about when he got involved with you. Sometimes you have to look out for you and your daughter first. That does not sound like a healthy situation to be in for both of you.1