Did my now ex boyfriend break up with me for selfish reasons?

My now ex after 7 1/2 months broke up with me because he since he's graduating in December, he doesn't know what will happen to him after graduation. His career will take him literally anywhere in the country. He said it's just bad timing though he really enjoyed dating me and kept telling me that there was nothing wrong with me or our relationship. Plus he doesn't like the idea of a long distance or long term relationship right now because his biggest fear is growing old and that's what happens when people fully grow up and he won't be getting over that for a few more years. He said he still wants me to be his best friend because I'm the only girl who will do things with him out of the norm and that all of his friends love me. He keeps telling me he won't be talking to anybody or will be in a relationship for a long long time and he isn't interested in anybody else. He doesn't want to leave anything we had behind. He says he's doing this at least eight months ahead of time to get it out of the way and so there would be less feelings, not as hard of a break up and larger chance I'll still be around. He said if he does find a job close to home, he would open up the possibility of us getting back together when he's ready because it's good on my "resume" if he still wants me around. He broke up with me five days ago and he's seen me the past four of the five days so far.

All my friends who I have told this to is that they can kinda see why he is doing it to keep me around, but think it's not for a good reason and if he really had such great feelings for me, he'd keep me if there was nothing wrong with me. He'd just find a way to work it out when/if he moved away. They also said he's not handling it the right way and he's being extremely selfish and inconsiderate of my feelings.

What do you all think? Do you all think he is being selfish? Will he get to his senses and want to get back together?
(He said he hasn't told his friends because they will raise hell)
He also said he thinks it's morally wrong to drag me into something that could impact his whole life (his future). My friends say he was saying that because he thinks he could find someone better once his future comes.
I was told I need to talk to him again. What do you all think? Please any answer will help me! I've never been so lost!


Most Helpful Girl

  • Hey
    He's trying to be nice and let you down easy. You are young beautiful and see it as a good experience for what it was but you have a fun single life to live and enjoy yourself. Maybe the next guy you are with is even better than this guy and you'll have more time for family and friends now :)

    • He may be letting me off the relationship, but he's basically refusing to lose me as a friend and still wants me as his best friend. He is not interested in another relationship for a very long time and he said he'll take awhile to actually lose feelings for me. I will have time for family and friends but he's basically still tying me down as well. He chose to break up, but I didn't so he has to understand it will be harder for me than it will be for him

    • Then politely decline friendship and say it wouldn't be healthy for you to be his friend. You need time alone and wish him the best of luck

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What Guys Said 1

  • I find that quite selfish. 8 months before leaving? ... He just wants to find someone else, and is keeping you on the side just in case no one wants him. Ditch him, don't contact him.


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