Do guys hurt after a break up?

My bf of 5 years broke up with me after his parents' second divorce 3 days ago. He said he "couldn't love or commit" anymore, but he said he loves me after he ended it? We haven't talked in 3 days and he defended me from Facebook. Is he hurting from our split? we were HS sweet hearts. Do guys in general ever hurt if they initiate the break up? How long does it take a guy to miss a girl?
  • Is he seriously done or just need to sort some things out?
    Vote A
  • Should I date other people in the mean time?(although I kinda don't want to?)
    Vote B
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Most Helpful Girl

  • Yeah, he's taking the hurt he feels from the divorce and equating the same hurt that might happen down the road from you. It's a stupid decision but he's defending himself now from ever feeling like this again and it's idiotic. Sounds like he needs time because he's handling it badly. He'll eventually want and need your support to get through it. It's not right that he's hurting you in the process. If you otherwise have a good relationship, then he should be turning to you for comfort during this time, not push you away and needlessly make you a future problem when you haven't even done anything. He's viewing long term relationships as being the same result as his parents and he is going through the first stage of mourning what he knew as a family. Give him some time. He's obviously not thinking straight.

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What Guys Said 5

  • Relax. He's not serious. He's in shock. Give him a minute and let him breathe and then just bring him back. Talk to him, as a friend, because right now the man needs a friend not labels.

    This support? This is what it means to truly commit to another.

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    • I'm not so selfish to think that our relationship is the only thing he's hurting about bc obviously he cares for his parents and I want him to be happy. I just don't wanna contact him and he thinks I'm coming the wrong way i.e. wanting to get back together (i do) but right now I'm more worried about him mentally bc what he said is really just not something he'd say

    • That's exactly my point. The longer you give him to rest in this the higher the odds he won't come out. It's like someone drowning; you don't just leave them in the pool until they decide to fight hard enough to possibly break the surface, right? You're going about it the wrong way, he needs a partner, not a girlfriend, a person, not a title, but this is your life and hopefully it works out the way that sounds good on paper.

    • i see your point.

  • Depends on the reason for breaking up given the context he's dealing with a lot and just needs some space. I'd say give him a few days and then try to hang out and comfort him as a friend and not his girlfriend.

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  • I wasn't hurt when my ex fiancee left me. when someone I met who just ment the world to me, yeah that hurt.

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  • No were men we have no feelings. Of course we hurt.

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  • Yes.. it's been a year and I'm still crying

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What Girls Said 1

  • Don't worry it will definitely kick in what he's given up. Give it some time to start dating other people because he may come back to you. Right now he just needs some space and time to get his life situated because he seems to be going through a lot and is hurt from his parents split.

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