If he is ending our relationship, why did he add that he will probably regret it?

I was dating a guy for a few months long distance. I felt like we really connected and I know we both had a great time whenever we were together. We emailed, text and talked on the phone when we weren't together. A few nights ago he told me that his ex girlfriend (gone for 2 1/2 years) unexpectedly moved back to his home town and she wants to try again. Not only does he feel like distance is hard, but also that it's just too much of coincidence not to try again with her. And I understand that...they have years of history together and she is close by now. But when he told me, he didn't just say that he's getting back with his ex, he told me that I have been really great and sweet and that he will probably regret it later, but the distance is too much.

Why add the "I'll probably regret it later"? What was the purpose of saying that? He could have just as easily said that he is trying again with his ex, and he doesn't want to do a long distance relationship.


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  • He's basically saying that you're probably more compatible than his ex and doesn't really know. He has conflicting emotions right now and doesn't know what he wants.
    He is infinitely tantalized by the distance and the fact that she moved back is bringing many lost emotions and memories back and he never really had any problems with her; she just moved away, so it wasn't possible for them.
    Mind you, i don't like casual dating, when i start, i don't stop until there's a ditch in the middle of the road or i'm dead. I can't move from girl to girl. I get too emotionally attached to let myself, but you guys are probably pros at this. Either way, he doesn't know what's going to happen and he's diving head first into a pond. He's either gonna hit rock bottom or meet a freaking mermaid down there. We don't know, but all I can say is that unless you move in, he's gonna stick with who's close if you're wanting him back.
    I say this because someone's ex moving close by is a terrible reason to have to break up. Terrible.
    But hey, it's cool. I don't think he was all that great for breaking up this way anyway. :)

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    • Thanks for the insight! Do I want him back, yes, but more than that, I want him to be happy. When I met him, he assumed all women were going to be great at first and then just leave him later...he said loyalty was so important to him. He's military and he is afraid a woman is just going to cheat on him when he's deployed. We didn't know each other long, but I tried my best to show him that distance and deployment didn't matter to me, I would support him and be there no matter what. We didn't talk about his ex's but I know he dated this one for 4 years (throughout deployments) and then when he got 2 years on a home assignment they broke up. Now it seems she moved back to where he is stationed, wanted to get back together and convinced him to try. I'm afraid he's going to end up getting hurt.

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    • Thanks again for all your help! I'm going to wait a little bit, let things settle before I say anything to him. It certainly felt pretty final to me and like he may not care if he hears from me. But that could be my emotions. Ironically, the day before he broke it off, I sent him a little package of his favorite snacks and a silly card cause work had been hard lately. It hasn't gotten there yet because of weather delays.

    • Aww! XD That's awesome. He's probably gonna regret it later. :)

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What Guys Said 18

  • He's a fucking arsehole leaving you for his ex. He's trying to make you feel bad so that you don't run off dating another guy.

    Effectively he's keeping tabs with you. If it doesn't work with his ex or anybody else, he'll ask for you back.

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    • I think you might be right! Disregard my answer, this one is perfect! Don't get back with a guy who has you as a second choice girl.

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    • So why is he going back to his ex then?

      Because, although he says he has feelings for you, he simply doesn't... I've been in his situation before, and I usually go back with an ex if I haven't got feelings with my current GF...

      What tells you he wasn't texting his ex all the time when he was with you? ... because he was.

    • You were saying it was your friend's story, I could tell it was your own story lol.

  • long distance never work. it just hard to be in a relationship with someone you cannot see for one month straight let alone if it was a year.
    he may have said that just to ease the breakup or to keep you as an option or because he really mean it. it all depends on body language to know.

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    • Thanks. As commented on another post, he's join to have to make a LDR work if he ever wants to be with someone. He's military and deployed 6-9 months at a time.

    • It dosnt

  • My brain tells me you are the best for me - this could really work if I try hard enough

    My hedonistic side is not ready to put on the harness yet, I selfishly want to explore many others "out there".

    My brain tells me that I won't find anyone as good and will regret this idea, but it won't win this debate.

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  • He's trying to emphasize his feelings for you.

    .and maybe fishing to see if you'll offer to wait for him at least for a little while!

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    • I didn't tell him I'd wait for him. But I did say I wish him luck, she's a lucky girl and I hope things work out. Told I want him to be happy (yes, that sounds cliche). And I told him to text me some time. I don't really expect a response.

  • For some reason the other girl is his ex. Said that he probably knows is stupid to try again with her but still wants to, he liked the relationship with you as it was so when the problems with her ex arrive he will regret it.
    Any way you should feel good, you were great with him but if he wants some thing closer in distance and is idiotic enough to repeat the mistakes oh the past agin, its his choice.
    DonĀ“t think too much about it, it was the distance what he couldn't stand, you'll find someone better and closer to you.

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    • Thanks! Well then he's going to have to figure out how to deal with distance. When I met him he was finishing his 2 year graduate degree so he was relatively in one city. He's an Army Ranger and about to go into a cycle of deployments up to 9 months. He's going to have to deal with distance with anyone he dates! It doesn't matter what state either of us live in--when he's overseas, it's long distance.

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What Girls Said 27

  • he is still in love with his ex [hence automatically jumps at the opportunity to be with her]yet he knows it won't work out , just like it didn't last time. then afterwards when they break up he will be single you may have found someone else or not want him, and it would have been all for nothing, hence that he will probably regret it

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  • I think he was just trying to soften the blow by saying something "nice" that ends up just really being confusing. He didn't mean it really just didn't want to say he prefers his ex over you for whatever reason (the distance, etc). Sorry I've heard this a few times too :(

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  • He is referring to regretting breaking up with you later (will regret it in the future), but is going to go out with his ex anyway. I think he said it to be nice and make the breakup less painful and to show that he wasn't using you and that he did feel something for you but is now going to be with his ex. Distance is hard, I know from lots of my friend's experiences and I understand how having a girlfriend that is with him is much better than someone far away.

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  • He sounds awful. Yes distance may be hard to maintain but if he is breaking up with you because of that why does he have to make it even harder by bringing his ex into the mix. He did not have to tell you that. Also him saying 'I'll probably regret it later' is him basically trying to stroke his ego and make himself feel like a better person as that way he is also complimenting you whilst breaking up with you, by doing that he'll think that what he has done is not as bad.

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  • because he knows you are a good catch and probably likes you as well as his ex, but like you said distance could pose problems, unfortunately.
    And, surely he will regret it, because he is getting back with an EX, which means things will be on shaky ground, and possiblities to break up between the two are possible. And of course you won't be there anymore.
    Basically he knows he is leaving something good.

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