Maybe I'm just an 'old romantic' , but I thought the No Contact would have brought my guy back to me by now..?

He's been doing the NC to me for the past 3 weeks, but because I thought we truly had something special, something worth salvaging, I thought he'd come back!!
Has anyone out there had a break up where their partner did NC, but because it was a deep love (Soulmates) they eventually got back together?
Is it true that 'what is meant to be will be'?

How long should I wait?

How will I even know this love was real?

Need answers!!


Most Helpful Guy

  • Why do people actually believe that not talking to someone will make them come back? That's stupid. When was the last time you refused to buy something and it was magically in your fridge? Like, never.

    • He is the one going NC, not me! I've tried to contact him but he won't take my calls!

    • That's the point. As long as communication failed nothing occurs. We like that in movies because it's not like that at all in real life.

    • I find this comparison ultimately fascinating.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • I think the idea you expect no contact will bring him back is stupid. up broke up then have no contact since then and still expect him to think you're interested in him or have feelings for him? Heck, depending on how long you left it, chances are he's moved on! This romanticizedidea that staying out of contact with someone will still make someone have feelings for you is, to put it simply, complete and utter bull.
    You still have feelings for him? Go tell him. You want to get back together with him? Go do it, don't wait for some miracle opportunity to drop out of the sky and hit you in the head!

    • He is the one doing the NC, not me. It's out of my hands since he won't take my calls..

    • Show All
    • I think I've lost interest in him now though..the mere thought that he really doesn't want me makes me not want HIM! Which female wants a guy that doesn't want her back? Not me for sure!!!
      If it's not meant to be then it's fine, I can accept that. Just wish he'd had the balls to say so that's all.
      I was probably right about him first time round by the looms of things!

    • Ah, a man afraid of his own emotions. If he didn't have the courage to step up and say how he felt or try and do something about, he sounds like the kind of person who there's no point wasting your time with, dear!

  • the NC only works if you want nothing to do with them. it won't bring them back

  • Ha ha you actually believe no contact works? Crazy !

    • Pinot at all! I think NC is childish!!

    • Good then don't waste another minute on him x

What Girls Said 3

  • You never know how long it will take they say 30-90 days. Yes it does work. Still I would of contacted him and let him know you wanted to work it out. He might resist at first but if u know deep down he loves you he will come back. Iv never had a man not come back but I always let them know that I was still wanting to work things out. As soon as they feel like you might have moved on they will crawl right back for whatever reason. Men like to be babied lol you have to try that first b4 nc.

    • Thanks, I have tried..left him a message saying so...he is the one doing NC not me. My friends all say try again, but I'm too frightened I'll be ignored again! What if he was just a liar all along? i mean, if he really DID love me, then how could he put me through this pain and for so long! This is sheer CRUELTY! My heart is hurting!!! And all thi from a so called 'Man of God'.

    • Men don't deal with things like this the way we do. What he's doing is normal. Most men when they are hurt they go into hiding or they deal with it in other ways. So the fact that your telling me he is ignoring you doesn't surprise me. Just don't assume he doesn't care and doesn't have feelings men feel just like we do the way we show it is different then how they do. For now you have done all you can. Work on yourself and keep yourself busy because you never know he might pop back up in ur life or might not either way you need to be okay with the outcome and believe that you will always find someone who will love and care and respect you the way you deserve. Every time u find urself thinking about him stop urself. Don't talk abou lt him no more. You have to use this time to also heal your heart

  • Some people wait the rest of their lives. If you have that much time to wait on someone, be my guest. My bet is... he wasn't that much into the romance, OR he's the one trying to move on. Sometimes when you're apart (after a difficult relationship), you realize what that relationship was doing to you and that you need to reinvent yourself. Maybe he has taken on another path, dear, and this path drifts away from yours. To end any anxiety or waiting, just talk to him, tell him what you've been thinking/hoping for, very honestly and very calmly, you don't wanna scare him away. If he doesn't feel the same (and you'll perceive it even without words), it's time to let this go and then you'll stop waiting. If he feels the same but he needs time to place his head between his shoulders, then be patient and you do the same. Be fearless.

    • Thanks. I've tried but he won't take my calls..

  • Well first off who broke up with who? Because if you broke up with him then you MIGHT be wasting time waiting for him to contact you because I'm sure he has dignity. But if vise versa, most people use NC with the knowledge that their partner might not contact them for months not really weeks after break ups. But of course I'm sure you heard this before but the fact of the matter is is that NC is used to heal. I had one guy break up with me and every month or two I would text him but NOTHING. This went on like 4 months or so. Then I gave up and 2 months later he came back into my life. My most recent ex I went NC right away and that was 9 months ago and nothing lol so my conclusion is that an ex will come back into your life IF they want to. Staying in no contact won't make an effect but getting you stronger. Good luck!

    • Thanks! It's a little weird because I saw him trying to 'distance' from me and in a haste I told him it was over. He said "no way! I don't want to lose you" . So I retracted everything and apologized! I've not heard from him since!!
      So in effect, it is HE who is doing NC on me now...and it is ME who is hurting the most and wants him back!!
      Of course if he really doesn't want me in his life I will accept, but I thought he should have been man enough to say so - even if only by text! He knows how much having clarity/confirmation/ closure means to me.

    • Well since you broke up with him and he vowed his love for y'all's relationship then why not fight for him? He probably is doing a 'pride' move by saying 'I don't need her or this bs..' But I feel you can change that and just talk to him right. Regardless, let this be a lesson learned to never make hasty decisions out of emotions because it never turns out good.

    • I would love to speak with him but he won't take my calls..

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