So my ex gf of 2 years and I broke up about a month ago. I made an effort not to talk to her for a week or so but she kept calling and texting me. I simply gave in. Now, I am not some soft dude. I've just never loved anyone like I love her. I used to be the player type picking up girls left and right not really caring about the emotional aspects. Now, with her I just can't shake her and vice versa. When we first got serious I freaked out because I am not one to be in a serious relationship. I told her this about 4-6 months in and she was ok with it. Now about 3-4 months ago I finally just said screw it I love her I enjoy her company and she truly completes me. She loved me at my worst and has never given up on me. She too is scared of relationships. We both like that new car smell that initial excitement of being with someone. I came to terms with it a few months back however she hasn't. She also has depression, severe anxiety, and an intense perfectionism. To me it's sad because I know that all 3 together is a recipe for misery. Over our relationship I talked to her about getting help, she never wanted it, now she is getting it. She also tells me she knows I'll make a good husband, father, etc. but she always wonders if I (or any guy she's been with) is the best for her. I used to be that way until I just gave up on this idea of perfection. I told her that we all have flaws and its up to us to decide if we can live with such, does the good outweigh the bad? Like I said we talk every day for roughly 1-4 hours as well as text, we also hang out 2-4x per week. Given her depression, anxiety, and medication her romantic drive isn't all that there but we do it every 2-4 weeks (which I am content with). I also never initiate the calls or hang outs, its all on her as she is the one who ended it. I also am not at her beckon call and have a very active social and professional life. Any advice would be great. I don't want to give up on her, in my heart she's the one for me.
Ex gf and I still talk every day, hang out multiple times a week, how do I go about cementing us being back together.?
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You were a player. You've cast aspersions on yourself by telling her you are "not one to be in a relationship." Now she is insecure in your long-term prospects, nevertheless she continues the relationship despite the so-called breakup. It's not you, it's she who lacks self-confidence. To give her confidence in you, you should be initiating conversations and meetings at this point so she can trust your interest in her. From now on, just ignore that there ever was a breakup and carry on as before. Let her know she is your girl. Show some affection.
Why don't you get down on one knee in that formal way and ask her to marry you? That should get her attention. It's been two years, you know her enough by now, and you show your willingness to contend with her problems. To repeat, don't be aloof, call her and keep her occupied with yourself by fun outings and so forth.
All this I state with the assumption that you are a mature person who knows what he wants.0
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