I finally told my abusive ex off, but was it the best decision?

My ex had been messaging me, he was wanting to be friends and I finally after a year of being broken up told him I can't be friends with someone who abused me, I only allow people with respect into my life. but now I feel bad, guilty in a sense, that maybe we could be friends.. but in reality I know we shouldn't. Have you ever one through this? is it the best decision?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It is natural to want to give your man a second, and third chance. How was he abusive? Please do not fall into the trap that many women fall into: When a man is truly abusive- she will feel guilty for leaving him.

    Deep down you know he has a pain in his soul. You know he is crying out for help.

    But unfortunately, he has to want help- even if he is pleading for it, he likely isn't ready. He will show it to you in actions and deeds- and you will know there has been a true heart- change in him.

    Unfortunately, this is so rare, my only advice is to bury your head in your pillow, and mourn him- then never contact him again.

    There is going to be a strange softness in your heart for him- forever. But never let it bring you back to someone who is going to take his anger out on you.

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
    • you hit it right on, thanks.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Suggest deleting him from your phone and blocking his number. You already dumped him, so get on with your life. You don't need him in your life...remember that he was abusive to you. Forget about being his friend. Your best bet is to cut him out of your life.

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  • that was the best decision you ever made. be strong , you can do better than him

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  • YES, it is. Abusive will always be abusive. Be happy he's done with.

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  • Well that depends, HOW was he abusive. You didn't mention that and it's pretty important.

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    • spit in my face a few times, broke my things, threw stuff at me, chased me with a baseball bat, smashed my car window while I was driving, called me fat cunt daily.

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    • Ok, that's pretty legit.

    • plus 1 million

What Girls Said 3

  • You did good :) you respectfully made your point and your life will be better for not taking people like that.

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  • yeah cause all guys on here are so perfect lol

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  • You need to examine the source of your guilt. I bet it has to do with you and you childhood than him.
    A self respecting person will not feel guilty for excommunicating ones who abused her.

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