What should I do? Is my boyfriend cheating?

Last night while my boyfriend was showering I went through his texts. I did this because he had been acting kind of weird/ mysterious. I know that is not a reason to invade someones privacy but I just couldn't help myself.
As i was going through his messages I saw one from a girl which i don't like (their relationship has always been flirty). I started reading through it and I found out that he had gone to her house to "study" (at least that's what the text says). I don't know what they would need to study because it is summer where i live. Maybe they are preparing for an upcoming exam (MCAT). Anyways, what hurts me is that he lied to me. He told me he was working in a lab and he had left 2 hours earlier to go to her house. Now i don't know what to do. I don't want to tell him i know this because i would have to come clean about going through his phone but this is killing me. Is there another way to talk about this?
PS. Please I really don't need people telling me how wrong it is to go through your boyfriend's phone, i learned my lesson.
Thank you.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • it is possible that the only reason he didn't tell you is because he knew you would be upset about it, but it isn't very likely. The fact that his lie was so different from what you discovered indicates that he at least wants to cheat - even if he hasn't yet. If he had said he was going to a friend's to study, that would suggest he simply didn't want to tell you who, but he did intend to study. However, he said he was going to the lab. That's completely different. I think he's a cheater at heart, even if not in practice yet. It's reason enough to end it, in my opinion...

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Most Helpful Girl

  • when you feel the impulse to check on someone cause you're suddenly feeling something's odd with their behavior, it always means you'll find exactly what you're looking for. if he felt the need to lie about seeing another female 'flirty friend', 9 times out of 10 that's because he fancies some novelty and he's getting tired of you. doesn't necessarily mean there's something going on between them two specifically, but the intention is there.

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What Guys Said 3

  • If you think he's really hiding stuff, lying to you - why be with him? Perhaps that's over simplifying it, but in reality that's the net result. You can tell him, fight, and then you would still have to believe whatever he tells you. I hate to say it, I think you're at the point where you need to make that decision. Fighting over what you found won't solve that. You can trust him or you can't.

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  • I won't criticize you for looking at his phone, if you had reasonable suspicion.

    I'd put it to him like this "I know you weren't at the lab the other night, when you said you were.Don't ask me how I know, and please don't deny it".Then ask him if he is having any problems in your relationship, or if something needs fixing.

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  • seems like he at least had the intention to cheat on you. i mean why else would he totally lie about where he was? no matter what you do , your relationship is in trouble

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What Girls Said 2

  • I've been in a situation like this where I went through my ex's phone because he'd been acting weird. I found stuff I didn't like and I just came clean about going through his texts. I feel like he's more wrong for lying to you about such a thing.

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  • If he feels need to lie about it /keep a secret then he's hiding something and he knows it's wrong

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    • I know that if i confront him he would tell me he lied to me because he knows i don't like that girl so he wouldn't want me to get mad. He has done the same before and to me that is just BS. I talked to him about it and told him that what truly hurts is knowing that he is hiding stuff from me.

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