My boyfriend had a dating site profile?

The websites were oriented more towards sex than dating.

He had a profile, with inappropriate pictures of his goods.

He also had a Skype account associated with it.

I found the information on his phone, which had a browser history going back to mid-April.

At first he lied to me, saying that he got the profile before we were together. However when I told him everything, he deleted the profile he had for the site along with another profile he had for another site (which I was unaware of). He also says he deleted the Skype account.

Checking his history, I saw that he did in fact do these things. However I still don't know what to do with him. I feel like he cheated on me by being on these sites. I'm pretty sure he had camsex with plenty of girls.

He mentioned that he didn't have sexual intercourse with them, per sé, but at this point I don't know if he is telling me the truth.

I feel hurt by this discovery and I do not know what to do, honestly.

He and I have shared a long history together. We have dated as teenagers, however we had to separate as I moved to another continent. We would continue to communicate occasionally, and when I moved back we became fuck buddies. And then we became friends, and then we started to date. A year after I moved back, we became a couple and we moved in together.

He was my best friend, someone who would be there for me whether I was sad or happy. We could talk about anything under the sun. We had dreams together. We talked about one day having a house with three kids.

Two days prior to the discovery, I woke up feeling upset. He had to be at school earlier than I did, however he still took the time to wipe my tears away with a tissue. He wouldn't go until' I was feeling better, even though I basically tried to shoo him away. I think I've made him 15 minutes late.

I'm so fucking confused, and I have no idea what to do. I'm currently staying at my uncle's place to have some space from him.
We have sex almost everyday, so don't bother asking about the sex life.
We have had history going back to 2008.


Most Helpful Guy

  • The definition of cheating varies from person to person and should be clarified early on. Like I know of married people in open marriages but then there's other more exclusive couples where cheating goes on but the cheater forgives him/herself mentally by thinking silly things like "well... he didn't penetrate me so it wasn't really sex..."

    Nowadays, it's way too easy to do things online. If you feel like you've been wronged, it's really your choice where you go with it. Some girls are ok with their boyfriends watching p*rn and others feel "well... am I not good enough?"

    • I'm alright with him watching porn, we had a talk about it when I noticed he had some on his phone. However the idea of interacting with another person to gratify sexual needs is the central idea, and is why I have gotten hurt upon discovering what he did.

      I am currently on a break from him, and I am staying at my uncle's in the country side. I am loving the atmosphere - it is pretty calming, but sometimes I wonder (with no anger or worry) whether my boyfriend has actually brought someone home while I was gone. It could be possible, but I am not saying it happened. Now that I have something negative to look back on, I can't be completely sure about him.

Most Helpful Girl

  • He probably created those account when you weren't together and decided not to delete them when you guys were together. He didn't physically cheated on your's not that far from it. He forgot what were the boundaries of your relationship, you definitely have to define them. Most people who are exclusive, also include online things with people. He might have considered it wasn't really different from really need to have an explanation with him. The question you have to ask you self is can you trust him again? If you always worry he'll do something again, don't trust him in the would be a big problem for your relationship.

    • Was expecting the first comment to actually bash him into pieces. You seem very wise, my aunt told me the same thing a few hours ago.

      I do not know whether he has actually made the accounts before or after we have gotten together, but I am leaning more on after.

      He did mention that it was for the sake of wanking. Another adviser on the other hand, says that he may have actually gone beyond that.

      Honestly this is more forgivable than the actual act of physical cheating, but mentally it's still a bit disturbing. I honestly do not know if I can trust him again, to be honest. I might keep worrying.

    • Show All
    • That seems very true, I honestly think that it's all a matter of forgiveness and whether I can trust him again. All in all, I am not sure whether I can trust him again after experiencing all that, and I am fully aware that it will only bring me unhappiness in the relationship.

      A lot of people tell me of experiences they or their friends have had, and they tell me that people who engage in this sort of stuff meet the person they have camsex with in real life.

    • It's easy to cross those boundaries. He might think camsex is nothing but it's really close to life cheating. It's already something bad. At this point, going it in real life is just a small step

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • He will cheat ya. Sorry let him go


What Girls Said 1

  • Personally I couldn't forgive him , I believe anyone that would cheat if haven't already. You will have trust issues. If you believe you can forgive him and completely forget it and not keep checking up on him and trust him like you did before then give him another chance if not then leave him now

    • Seems like a straightforward approach to it. I guess I'm going to have to sit down and really think about it.

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