Do we moan too much about past relationships?

He did this, she did that. It's his/her fault I am nervous about dating ! No it's the concious we make to let this stuff get in the way of future relationships, we have a choice and we CHOOSE to act negatively !


Most Helpful Girl

  • New relationships are just that... NEW! Whatever happened in past relationships should be left in the past. Yes maybe the odd thing may crop up where you find yourself thinking that this didn't happen in my last relationship, but why enter a new relationship with negativity? If you've finished with someone, draw a line under them and tell yourself it wasn't meant to be. Move on. Yes life is about choices, it's also about learning from mistakes and making the decisions which are right for you. If your not happy, do something to change that. Only you can, life is too short for too much negativity. Never regret, just learn from previous unsucessful relationships, you will one day get it right meet the right person, and all will be good and happy!


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What Girls Said 3

  • we whine, more than moan about it lol..i think its pretty natural to compare ur past realtionships and experiences u had whether good or bad with the ones ur having now and the thing is its not more about the negatively choosing part rather its more to do with the fact that we dont wanna get hurt again and not repeat our mistakes..i mean thats the most natural thing to do..and we tend to be more conscious about picking and chosing and we try our best to take the right decision although there's no garantee of that yeah i guess its a human's nature to do this..hope it helps :)

  • i think most do.
    but i think some people's reasoning does stem from blaming themselves.

  • When you try something, you will obviously think about your past experiences.
    Isn't it obvious that someone trying to date (one who has dated in the past) would have inevitably had a bad past experience, which is why the relationship ended?

    We moan and whine until we finally move on to a new person who does not give us a chance to think about the previous one, thus we don't get the opportunity to whine any further.


What Guys Said 1

  • there is the old adage, if you don't learn from history you are doomed to repeat it.

    I think that a certain amount of reflection, understanding and drawing on past experiences is necessary going forward. I do think there is an obvious balance that has to be struck.

    It's plato's doctrine of means which essentially says everything in moderation. Completely avoiding and ignoring your past as if it doesn't exist is unwise, just as being consumed by one's past is not wise. You have to find a happy medium where your past can help you live a better future without standing in the way of it

    • I like but don't agree. Yes lessons are learn't but if you don't choose to get over past rubbish, and I mean really get over it you are letting whoever caused the pain continue to control you. That to me is admitting defeat !

    • I'm not saying you don't get over it. you absolutely have to get over it. it's not about being controlled but just learning from history.

      Example... an ex of mine started being rather distant, moody, etc. She went on a vacation and came back even more weird. I thought perhaps she cheated on me but didn't listen to my gut but instead what she said. a month later I learned she had in fact cheated

      So the lesson I learn and apply to future relationships. Trust my gut. If something seems wrong in a relationship it probably is and don't accept a simple answer if it doesn't seem to suffice.

      ...see what I mean? I agree you past shouldn't control you but you can't pretend like it didn't exist or apply what you learned from it

    • Get yah. Well put.