Why does it seem I have to be in a cheating relationship to get what I want?

I don't get it all I want is good man that won't be unfaithful. It seems that the women that are in unfaithful relationships get all they want. Of course they keep on getting screwed over by their husbands. Still though they get to celebrate holidays and they get to travel. They also are able to have children and all be a pretend happy family. I know cheaters and liars lie and cheat to get what they want. So they end up having a pretty good life. Except when we want something good it can't be that way. This makes me want to settle. I dumped my ex of 4 years and now he has a new gf and he's happy. She comes from a nice family and they have provided her with nice things. Her parents have like two houses one of them being a cabin. They are travelling up there and will be having a great time. I can't deny it he's happier with her and he gets to enjoy everything he wants. When I left him I knew I hurt him but still now he's having the time of his life. Where is the karma in that? He will be screwing her over the whole time. While I'm here still wondering if I should've just dealt with it. He still did what he needed to do when I wanted him to. I was happy like they say ignorance is a bliss. The way I see it they see this world as imperfect so they've also just settled. These men still do everything these wives want when they want. So the wife is happy other than the husbands being cheaters. For example my dad walked out on my mom. He ended up marrying the other woman. He bought them a house and he's always worked. It's a perfect life except that he's still a cheater. These women knew these men were cheaters before they got married with them. Are they just thinking might as well settle. At the rate I'm going I probably won't find the faithful man I want. Life just seems best when were cheaters and liars.


Most Helpful Guy

  • This is a rant not a question.

    If you want my 2 cents, I'd say get over it. Why do you even care what he's doing now or who he's with. Let him live his life, you live yours. Why be bitter over events from four years ago, it's only going to give you stress.


Most Helpful Girl

  • This is something I have contemplated a lot! Would I be happy in a relationship that was essentially a lie? I think in the end, no. Even if you're completely oblivious to the fact that he's cheating, clearly he's not respecting you at all in this way, and therefore this lack of disrespect would probably come out in other ways too.

    You also have to keep in mind STDs.. What is he bringing home? What if you ended up with herpes or HIV or something that you can't get rid of!

    Ignorence is bliss, that is true, but could you live knowing that everyone else knows your husband is cheating on you and talking about it behind your back? Could you live knowing you don't satisfy someone enough for them to stay faithful?
    No! I don't think you should have settled. You made the right choice leaving him, you're just feeling lonely right now and that's making you question this.

    Once you meet the right guy, you'll never look back, and be sooo happy you didn't settle! :) Goodluck!

    • Thank you so much for the encouragement. I really needed this because I have gone through a lot with this last one. I have seen though how strong I am and even though people might get mad that I stand up for myself. It has made me a wiser and better person.

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • How do you know he's being unfaithful to her? You don't. I know a cheater will always be a cheater but that's just the name. It doesn't mean they can't change. Just because he cheated with you does not mean he will cheat with her.

    • Because he's a cheater.

    • People can change. Don't be bitter. Just let him go and move on with your life. You broke up with him so why care what he does with other women.

  • I don't cheat and I get what I want. The thing with lying and pretending is that it might look nice on the outside but it's rotten at the core and eventually it'll just blow up in your face.

    • My dad's been lying for years to his mistress. She still hasn't left him. He left my mom and he got with his mistress. He got what he wanted during that time. Everyone on her side of the family are happy and say they are great parents.

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    • I think either way pays, it just depends on the kind of payment you're looking for. Easy and shallow or difficult and meaningful. It's not easy to try to do the right thing and be faithful but it's the only way worth being to me. I could never enjoy a shallow relationship or a life of lies like that. I'd rather build something special with a guy I can count on. There are no guarantees in life and you could get screwed either way. I'd rather take my chances with something special.

    • Me too. I couldn't deal with treating people like puppets and deceiving them.

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