Friend Zoned by Ex-Husband - Hopeful or not?

My ex-husband's going through his 2nd divorce. When that's over I want us to give our relationship another try. We have children together, have remained friendly over the years and have recently reconnected. He says he needs time to get himself together. We've been spending time together and have even had sex. But he refuses to show me any affection saying we need to be just friends for now, and see what happens (i.e., if we fall in love with each other again). In the meantime, we've agreed to only have sex with each other. In my opinion after having been married w/ children already how can we "fall in love" with each other again if we are just going to be friends and not show each other affection along the way like normal couples do during the courting phase? He says that affection, etc. will all come in time. He says he wants a year to be by himself before getting into another relationship, but wants us to be friends & hang out in the meantime. Before really thinking it thru, I agreed to just being friends for now. I think I made a huge mistake by agreeing to this! I think I've been Friend Zoned. HELP! How do I get out of the dreaded Friend Zone? I need some male opinions please. If he just wants to be friends, why does he get so jealous when I date other guys? Does he want to heal and try again or am I just his Plan B in case something else doesn't work out? Can I make him fall in love with me again? Any help would be greatly appreciated!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You can't make him fall in love with you. He's either interested or he's not. If he's currently going through a divorce, he is likely not ready yet to jump right into a relationship. Most people would need some time to heal and get over it. I know I would. My advice would be to stop having sex with him but continue being friends if you really want this to happen. He's putting up boundaries, so he's obviously not ready for this. The sex only complicates things. Be there for him but give him the space he's asking for. If it's meant to be, he'll come around. My gut feeling is that you're a safe place to satisfy his physical needs right now. Take that out of the equation. Be his friend and let him know you are open to more than that. Then put the ball in his court. Set a time frame in your own mind that you're willing to wait for him to make up his mind. If that time passes, move on. Best of luck to you.

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What Guys Said 1

  • He's already been married to you once and it didn't work out. He knows what he's getting himself into and doesn't think it's worth it right now. You might just be sex til he finds someone else

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What Girls Said 1

  • Don't rush into anything and don't read into anything. Just take it one day at a time with him, give him space too. Don't get your hopes up

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