Ex girlfriend advice needed. Am i being played for a fool?

I left my ex girlfriend for personal reasons. A lot of pressure was going on in my life and I couldn't think clearly/ make sound decisions on things (obviously). The break up was bad. I texted her 2 months later to meet up and apologize for not handling things well, hurting her etc. I asked her if she would want start over with me and slowly start a relationship again. She said no and is enjoying being single. I respectfully accepted it and wished her well. Later that week she called me in tears and need help we met up and she explained to me that she's an emotional wreck. She slept with a few random guys (rebounded) and going out to bars a lot with her friends.. now she's caused herself to become clinically depressed.

She's claims she needs me cause she's afraid to be alone. She still doesn't want a relationship with me right now but she's very depressed and wants me to be there for her cause she's hurting from depression (bad choices). I think she is doing this cause she sees I still care for her. This hurts me cause I still want her back. I've been a kiss ass trying to get her back but I also know I'm probably ruining my chances of having her back by doing that. She's still trying to go out partying with friends probably meeting new guys and going to bars to ignore her depression, but then she expects me to be there for her late at night when she has no one and depression hits. She said she feels she wants me back but she also feels she should move on and possibly try things again with me later.

I feel like i'm being used.. I don't know if I should keep trying or move on? What is my ex doing to me?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Move on. She doesn't want a boyfriend, she only wants a shoulder to cry on. And if you want something more, it wouldn't be fair for you to be with her. And, most likely, since she knows you want her back, it's probably making her feel good about herself. So in a way I think she might be trying to use you.
    Anyway, it's not your job to act as her therapist. If she has real problems, then she needs to see a real therapist. If you feel like this is too much for you, then you don't have to do it.

    • Thanks for the comment. I kinda had a gut feeling that she doesn't want a boyfriend. I kinda feel like I'm just stroking her ego. I told her to run to her girl friends for support and not me, if she continues to text me should I just not respond at all?

    • Depends on what she texts you. I mean you don't have to be rude to her, but neither do you have to pay her unnecessary attention. If she just wants to chat a little, then I don't see a problem with texting her back every now and then. But if she only wants to rant about her problems, tell her to talk to her other friends instead, yes.

    • Yeah I see. I'll probably just leave it to not responding at all unless she's asking me something on a serious note.

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What Girls Said 2

  • You are being used, she pretty much said so herself. Until she finds someone new, you're just there to kill time for her. Don't put yourelf in that position. It's not fair to you

  • Definitely move on, I think she just wants you there when she hits rock bottom, trust me, I would go out, party, talk to a lot if different guys, and only reached out to that guy that I felt would always be there when nobody else was around, but never meant to take him serious. She is using you as comfort when she feels at her lowest. Move on!

    • Thank you! I had a gut feeling that i'm just stroking her ego. I think I'll just not respond to her anymore and she'll get the picture

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