Experiences with no contact? Feel like it's hurting more than helping?

Has anyone else tried no contact in dealing with a split? I am on day two and I feel like it's impossible. The problem for me isn't the actual contact, but I'm trying to stay off FB/twitter and it's so hard, I nearly gave in yesterday, and woke up this morning and she was all I can think about, and I feel like it's hurting me more than helping but I'm not sure.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Haha you're only on day two my friend. The fun has just begun.

    I'm not sure why you two split or who was responsible for what but I always find getting closure, before stoping contact helpful even if the conversation doesn't go smoothly "it usually doesn't" but that's okay because it's always gives me a nice reality check and reminder of why I don't need this person in my life.

    I define closure as just a final conversation or an attempt to make amends before I completely erase a person from my life.

    But it only works if you're not the guilty one if that makes sense.

    If you've already done all the above and you're not the one who's wronged in the relationship the only thing you can do is wait it out and let time heal.

    I totally understand the not checking Facebook and Twitter thing. I really wish there was a button where I could block myself from viewing a persons profile and even in general being on the net can be pretty depressing seeing all your friends post photos with their significant others especially when you're going through a split.

    Just hang in there, it'll get better.

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
    • I tried to get some sort of closure by asking her where we stood, but she never replied to me and sub tweeted about me saying I need to take a hint. So most of my conclusions about what went wrong have just been assumptions I have drawn over the past three months, nothing really definitive on her part, all I got was "I'm not sure about a relationship right now" and that she "felt obligated to make time for me" and liked "being by herself" it just sucks cuz I feel like we were both not mature enough for the relationship but would still be a good fit for each other, that's why it's so hard to let her go I think

    • There's your closure right there.
      She isn't ready, I wouldn't
      advise waiting up on her either.

      Clearly she has a lot of maturing to do if she's taking private issues and using them and entertainment for twitter.

      You should probably just start cutting contact slowly. If the friendship was strong it can be rebuilt after time.

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What Girls Said 4

  • I break off all contact entirely. To withhold temptation, I delete their number and block them on facebook. I try to make myself busy so that I dont hurt my heart.

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  • It will hurt as hell, in the begining.I have done this 3 times before, and trust me, it gets better. The first days are the worst, and after a while you get used to it. you're gonna have to be strong and dont give up. Try to have fun, and do things with your friends. She'll probably hear what you have been up to by some of here friends. And if she hears your doing just fine, she will start to want you back. But by that time, you probably don't want here anymore. Give it a week, it will get so much better. And its definitely helping you more than keeping contact would.

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  • It's normally better for me in the long run

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  • You are supposed to delete all forms of communication with her. Unfriend her even block her on twitter. No contact is supposed to help you move on

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What Guys Said 2

  • It will get better over time. Breaking no contact will only prolong the healing process.

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  • Just look at it this way.

    Each time you think about it means she's fucking another dude.
    The longer it goes on the more people she will be with.

    The more it hurts the more pathetic you are because you didn't rebound to someone else yet.

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