She didn't want anything serious, now all she wants is friends...?

Myself and this girl have been hanging out for 1.5mo. When I first asked her early on, she said she didn't want anything serious, just wanted to have fun and liked seeing me, but enjoyed the single life since she was in several LTR prior. We began having sex and did so for about a month; last night she told me we just need to be friends bc she felt like she was in a relationship with me since we were having sex, something she normally only does in a relationship. I can tell she has genuine feelings for me, just isn't ready for something serious. I told her I would think about being friends... She still wants to do some of the things that we planned while we were more than friends, like brewery tour next week and such... I see her often at work throughout the week too... But should I maintain friendship hoping she 'll choose me when she is ready to date, or just tell her no?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Respect her wishes for her decision to be friends with no benefits now, for not being ready just yet for Any relationship. I give her credit for being honest with you. I don't believe she is stringing you along, but continues to enjoy your company.
    Seemingly, she is comfortable with you, and only Mother Nature knows for sure if the seeds you wish to sow will be reaped for a repeat down the line, when all is said and done.
    I don't see the harm of hanging with a girl you care about, to be friends with. After all, just because nothing is going on between the sheets, doesn't mean Something can't be going on Outside the bed.
    Of course, if you can't handle being with someone who you feel for More than they feel for you, and life isn't this guarantee where she will change her mind about being hooked at the hip, then this would make friends with bud benefits very difficult. You would need to go slow, not push, and------hope for the best, but expect the worse.
    It's your call, your heart, your life. However, if you would decide to be bosoms right now, you might want to lay a few ground rules down of your own. Tell her that's fine and dandy, but you are interested in dating others if the 'need for speed' comes around, And you won't hesitate to jump on board. With this being said, she may even buck a bit, and want to hop on your caboose again.
    Good luck.xx


Most Helpful Guy

  • First be clear what HER definition of friends IS, then decide if such freedoms are attractive for both her & you to have and if you can play this role when she's more "free".

    If you choose YES, then you're next adventure will be understanding her emotional abuses past that have her stiff-arming anything resembling a LTR.
    Then it becomes a feat of how to prove you can be trusted NOT to abuse her, how you are different from the others.

    Beware (I've read but not sure I believe) that those abused by love may abuse others that love them b/c poop runs downhill and must be flushed to either a) feel better or b) b/c it's the way of the world (they think/learned)


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What Girls Said 1

  • Seems like a waste of time to me. Hang out with her in a group, sureā€¦but don't go out of your way to spend time with her.


What Guys Said 1

  • Not at all. Never wait around for a woman. If she's telling you to 'just be friends', she's done with the sexual relationship.


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