How can I get over being paranoid about the fact that my ex could be hooking up with other girls?

Me and my ex broke up about a month ago and we dated for 7 1/2 months prior to that. But we broke up due to a conflict of our futures but he was basically pleading me to still be around in his life. So I agreed. We talk everyday though not as much anymore and we don't hang out as much anymore.

But as time has gone on in the past month, it's getting harder and harder. He has a hook-up and dating phone app (Tinder) and I know he has been talking to girls on there due to particular things I have noticed (I know these girls are from Tinder because I know for a fact that he doesn't have many girl friends). I get constantly paranoid that he is hooking up with a girl from Tinder. Or when he goes out, I'm paranoid about him dancing or hooking up with girls there.

BUT I do know that I can't stop him from doing any of these things and I also know that he is now single and can do what he wants now. But the fact that he could be whoring around just makes me feel awful and I can't handle it. It would be different if I wasn't speaking to him because I wouldn't know about it. But we still speak everyday. He even has the audacity to tell me about him having a Tinder and what he sees the app as (he says hook up not dating), when he got a match and also when he goes out to the bars and tells me how girls don't seem to be interested to him. I just feel so much worse when he tells me that in person or that he's going out with his friends.

How can I get over all of these possibilities? The thoughts constantly flood my mind and it ruins my day just thinking about it.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • If you're jealous of him dating, you can't be friends. It's pretty simple. Tell him how you feel and move on. Opposite sex friendships can work only if there's zero sexual jealousy. You can't have a friend who you used to be in a relationship with either, that's just impossible. I've never seen it work. I've seen people try and fail, and I've also tried and failed, it's impossible. You can be maybe acquaintances but not friends. I have a female friend and she tells me about how she's about to go see her bf and ride him like a rodeo, it doesn't bother me one bit. She know's I was late to the party cuz I was busy bangin my gf and we joke about it with no problem. I had an ex who was trying to be my friend, we'd talk every couple months and she was dating a guy. At first it was tough for me, then I didn't care after a while. They got engaged, she asked me to come to the wedding and I said na, it'll be weird and she understood, no biggie. Then the one time I told her about a girl I was dating she completely flipped out on me saying that she thought maybe me and her would get back together and I'm all like "are you insane, you're about to marry this guy and you're telling me all this just because I'm dating a girl?" and that was that. That's how complicated things could get. I hope you can leave him alone or you guys can get back together, but none of this friendship crap, it's totally bogus.

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    • That's what I was thinking too about this whole thing. They can't simply work because he still has me around for a reason, whatever reason that is. I try leaving him alone but he's the one that's been contacting me. He initiates the contact about 99% of he time. I don't try anymore. I'm going to try to talk to him about this and how this all isn't fair to me.

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What Guys Said 1

  • You need to find things to occupy your mind. Take up a new hobby. Read. Take night school classes, volunteer somewhere.

    Google how to overcome an obsession. I'm sure you'll find lots of helpful information.

    :-)

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What Girls Said 1

  • Remind your self that you guys are OVER and that he will start over. And you can too

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