How long does it take you to move on?

how long did it take you to move on, after you got turned down by a major crush? how long does it take you to be interested in another person in general? by that i mean not only for sex but for a relationship.
  • days
    Vote A
  • weeks
    Vote B
  • months
    Vote C
  • year (s)
    Vote D
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Most Helpful Girl

  • Depends on how much I cared for the person. If it's a small crush, then probably a week or so. If it's someone I care for, then probably six months. But if it's someone I really love, then a part of me will probably never move on. So yeah, completely depends.

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    • Yeah I agree you loved a man and had a small crush too which can pass easily.

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    • I get this - if I loved somebody, there's always some part of my brain that has feelings left over. It doesn't mean I'd 'give it another shot', it's more like, those feelings are in my brain somewhere and can't be deleted, and circumstances (e. g. finding an old photo or something) can sort of trigger them. That's how neurons work, so I don't understand people who really seem to be able to 'drop' their feelings... I feel like if you can, then surely they weren't 'real' feelings to begin with.

      @fun-weird-guy No it doesn't mean you don't love the new person completely. You can care about more than one person at once.

    • that kind of is a problem... what if the feeling for the other girl stays so strong, that it prevent´s you from developing feelings for another one? im mean you can love more than one person but still... if you like one a lot more, it´s hard to be with another one.

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What Girls Said 52

  • I only liked one person in my life and it was intense. I'm pretty clueless as to what real love is and what crushes really are. When I told him that I had feelings for him he rejected me even though we're still friends. It's been around 4 months since that happened and I still have feelings for him.. It may not have been love but it was something and I still feel it even now. In the end, if he's happy then I'm happy :)

    I know I'm pretty sappy XD

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    • pretty much same for me :D but i´ts been 4 years ^^ but she is not happy, so i am not :/

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    • it´s ok :D i appreciate it.

    • Good! My mission is done! XD

  • Well, like one of the anonymous people stated, it really depends on how much you cared for the person. For example, when i broke up with my first boyfriend, yes it was hard but it was hard because I knew it wasn't the right relationship for me, and i knew that it wouldn't last long. I cried over the fact that I was stupid and suborn. It took me about…. a month, to fully get over it and move on.

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  • Well... Me and my ex broke up last month. I'm still not over him and I think of him everyday. It takes me usually about 7 months to fully move on. Or until I find someone else which could be years.

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    • i guess he endet it then?

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    • That's exactly what it was. But I guess he was too tired to even try.

    • probably the best way to tell that he wasn't worth it anyways ;)

  • I really liked a guy for a very long time and I think he liked me too but he lost interest and I realized this about a month ago and missing him and feeling sad comes in waves. It will eventually pass. I haven't found anyone new but I'm waiting.

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    • at least "waiting" is all you really have to do as a girl :D you´d die a virgin if you just "waited" as a guy

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    • I don't think that's a good reason to sleep around instead of trying to date.

    • no :D i was making this up anyways. but i think geting turned down is much harder than turning down in general (i´ve experienced both)

  • I take months to move on and if the connection was really strong, even up to a year because it allow me time for closure so that when I meet someone new i don't compre them to my crush and like them because they are similar or different but actually know them for who they are.

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  • It has a lot to do with the kind of bond you felt with that person, even if it was only on an emotional level. You're still close to them, still used to them in your life in some fashion. It takes time, I'd say at least 5-6 months, depending on if you were strong and went NC it might be shorter.

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  • In most cases, it takes me no more than 24 hours. I get upset about it briefly, and then I move on and find someone else to like. If I'm in love with the guy, though, it takes months.

    It took 3 months to get over my first love. It's been 6 months and I'm still trying to get over my second love.

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  • I have only dated one person so far. I don't think it was the worst break up someone could imagine. It took me like a few months, but I don't know if I dated someone else things might go differently... I don't think it would ever take me a YEAR though...

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  • it depends how much i cared about the guy. i probably average a few months, because if i fall for someone i usually fall really hard. sometimes it takes close to a year. but for minor crushes or dates or hookups that just don't work out, it's pretty quick...usually a few days.

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  • I can't really say because it varies. I got over my first ex boyfriend who cheated on me after a 2 year relationship within days because I never loved him but I thought I did. Then I fell for my last ex so it took about a year but that was mainly dealing with the abuse. I know it'd take a life time to get over my current boyfriend - I've never felt so strongly for someone before.

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  • tbh, it takes me just days to get over a friendship depending on how we broke it off. for a crush it took months and since i'm still crushing on one of my friends its been a few years lol. the more you care for someone the longer it takes. everyone's situation is different. mine was rocky and a bit traumatic with my mom. but with the right mindset it only takes days to figure out you need to keep moving and live your life.

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    • knowing the way alone doesn´t always help, to get over it though. liked your answer :)

  • Depends on the relationship. If you have been together for awhile it may take years, while shorter relationships usually require less healing time. I've boyfriend for almost 2 years and we have made plans to get married in the future, if he left me I probably wouldn't get over him, I just learn not to think about him.

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  • I said "months" in my vote because that's how long it takes me to get over most of my exes (four). It took me about two years to get over my first boyfriend though.

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  • Depends on what there was between us...how long ti lasted and how intense it was.

    Mostly (if it was meaningful - months).
    If it wasn't...days or weeks...

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  • I said months because I think that is truest the amount of time it takes to fully get over someone and start becoming interested with someone new. Remember, if you still talk about it you still care about it

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  • Well I had a crush on these guy Keith O
    He didn't really like me. He said he went down thst dating path and didn't like it.
    I said oh I mean yeah I was hurt. But what can you do. I never really cried that much for him

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  • I think it really depends on how deeply you felt for that person, and how long you were together. You´re not going to be as devastated about a 3 month relationship as opposed to a 15 yr one.

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  • I think it doesn't just depend on how long you were with your significant other, it also depends on how good the relationship was.
    I was with this guy for over two years, but he treated my like crap, so when I finally did get the courage to break up with him. I moved on the next day. Because I was so unhappy for so long I was already broken up with him in my heart months before I officially ended it
    Then I dated one guy for 3 months and he had to move away very suddenly and we fell apart. That took me nearly 4 months to get over because it was so sudden and nothing was really wrong in the relationship, he moved and it was just too big of a strain.

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  • I guess I just fall too hard for the guys I like. No, I'm not clingy or anything annoying or creepy like that. I just fall too hard too fast because I trust the guys I'm with; I guess that's why it takes me a few months to get over a guy.

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  • Just a crush that turned you down? Hours to get over it-if not minutes. Why people are saying months or years I don't get. This isn't a relationship-per the question -it was a crush that turned you down.

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    • Nooo! God no i understood differently hahaha it takes not more than a week, day hour whatever ha LOL. What did I just said! 6 month LOL

    • like i said not only in a sexual way. that would hardly take a day to get over

  • I had a crush on a guy for a while and got turned down which really sucked. It took a while for me to get over him because i had built him up in my mind to be the perfect guy and now i compare the guys i meet to this unrealistic image. Finally I was able to meet someone who captured my attention in the same way.

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  • it's all about him if i really love him then he would be for ever in my mind if not then weeks would be fine

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    • "he would be for ever in my mind" -
      what do girls mean by that more exactly? Would seeing him make your heart beat faster even if you are with some other guy?

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    • hmmmm, interesting!
      would "forever in my mind" also mean you'd be willing to give it another shot in the future?

    • maybe if he did not hurt me that much or like if the reason why we did split is because of a cheat that is a bit impossible it would be so hard to trust him again if he did not cheat well i will give him an other shot !

  • a month or less. why waste my time on something that ended. i want to live the present, not the past.

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  • It depends on who it was and how much I cared for them. It can range from a week to 6 months. On average, it takes a month and a half to two.

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  • It depends on:

    Who ended the relationship

    Why the relationship ended

    How long the relationship lasted

    How much you 'connected' with your ex

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  • I've just asked the same question, I can't move on and don't want I'm not ready I split with my ex 9 weeks ago after 6 years and he moved on after 5 weeks I find this hard

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  • Depends who he was, how was the relationship how intimate we were etc I can say 2-3 months average. But the longest i have experienced was 6 months.

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  • usually when i break up with them it means I'm already over them..i don't break up with them unless I'm sure,,

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  • Depends on how deep the relationship is, bewteen months to a year

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  • It took me about a year and a half bc our relationship was on and off for almost three years

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What Guys Said 30

  • My last ex cheated on me (emotionally) and i guess i just feel out of love with her from her actions. I am over her now. i still DO NOT like her at all cuz of everything that she did on top of the cheating. Her on the other hand is not doing well with the guilt and the depression. I guess she knows how i felt for the time we were dating...

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  • Usually it depends on how strong my feelings were for them, For the most part if the relationship lasted a few months then yeah ill be upset for 2 weeks or so.

    If it was over a year or more, obviously I truly loved them and that can take weeks or months just for me to snap out of the funk.

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  • I say days because my most recent rejection was pretty harsh. The girl basically lied to me and used me as an ego boost, than dropped me like a hot potato. I was super depressed for 3 or four days and the next I woke up and took a 5 mile bike ride, and was fine lol.

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  • The first girl I had a crush on in college took me about a month or so to get over. It was near the end of the school year and I was preoccupied with finals and getting ready to move back home. We were good friends before I started to like her too, so we were happy.

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  • It took me over 7 months and I still do miss her, but accepted that our relationship can never be possible, nor can I forget her ever. We are in no contact since months. So I am not feeling hurt anymore...

    I miss her, yes very much; Hurt? No. Not that much now.

    The time to heal depends on the length of the relationship and how intensely you loved each other... and ACCEPTING things play biggest role in healing process. That takes a LOT OF Strength and mental maturity.

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  • I move on easily once I made a decision. But I take a very very long time to settle on a decision.

    I suppose that's the same for everyone else too. Making the decision is the hard part, knowing that once you choose it, there's no turning back.

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    • its hard, if you are not the one, who made the decision though...

    • On the contrary... if she was the one who made the decision, I can't change it, so I'll find it easier to accept it. But me? I'll never be able to convince myself I ever made the right choice..

  • Depends on how long you try to meet new people. If you stay in your shell can last even forever.
    Break ups are like wounds, the more you touch and mess with it the more it takes to heal.

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    • Is it somehow possible to stay friends? I am taking about a huge crush that lasts, not a breakup.

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    • You are contradicting yourself! You say you need a gf to distract yourself, but is against meeting new people. Just dress well and go to the streets or work saying "hi" to strangers. I meet my girlfriend like that

    • thats like the hardest thing to do for me because i am a shy introvert and not able to carry a conversation pretty well... but i guess i´ll have to learn that. also it´s not that common in my culture to smalltalk.

  • I had a huge crush on a girl, it took almost a full year to move on.
    And it was hard because I saw her everyday, same social group, we were neighbours, and we always sat across from each other on the bus...

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    • That's rough

    • And it turned out she wasn't a really nice person to me at all after awhile. I might have said something, idk, but whatever, as of last week I don't even have to see her any more... :)
      thanks though...

  • Im 37..Im still coping with mine..from 20 years ago (true story)

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    • man that´s rough. isn´t it hard to enter a new relationship if you are still coping with this?

  • Depends if you were friends with the person before the relationship and how long you were in the relationship with the person.

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  • In my experience, it's about one month per year up to 10 years.

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  • It has been different: the first time it took me 4 years. The last time about 3 weeks. Once it was done the same day.

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  • it depends how the relationship was going from start. if it was bad (like my latest) then it is a relief to break up

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  • Last girl agreed to marry me so it took me quite some time. Almost a year.

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  • I have never been turned down, but I got left/cheated on =( It has been 7 months, I Am over her, but I still heal slowly.

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  • It actually depend on how long the relationship last.

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  • It depends. When I don't get rejected by my crush, but instead I find out that she's been having a crush on me too, then we text and get to know each other and find out that we're so alike and have so much in common, and she says I'm perfect for her and asks me where I've been all her life, and then the next week she tells me she thinks we're better off as friends, so we just text but all of a sudden she doesn't reply...well...I don't know how long it'll take to get her off my mind. Hopefully no more than a month.

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  • It depends on how much you are emotionally invested in her..

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  • About twenty minutes.

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    • Is everything you say here sarcastic?

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    • so what you want to say is that you learn to let go by being rejected or left more often? in order to practice this i had to become more superficial and that doesn´t seem to me like a way i want to go.

    • Maybe it's best I don't explain. I refer to things far more upsetting than the word "no".

  • All I need is a good lunch and im over it

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  • shake the dust off your feet and move on.

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  • Under days haha.

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    • Can't be anything serious then...

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    • if you are in love, like really, you are not over her in the next few days.

    • Get over people dying in the next few days so, yes actually all knowing and powerful wizard Arrogance.

  • Few days at maximum

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  • It takes me just a couple of hours.

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  • I really look up to the people who can move on so quickly. I'm wish/pray I could be this tough.

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    • maybe it´s a good sign that you can´t... i am like this too and i guess all the people who need like a week or a month didn´t have real feelings for them after all.

  • i would have rather have loved and lost than to never have loved at all, makes me hate being a guy because of the fact i was dealt with the card for having to be the initiator

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    • yeah... i hate that

    • and i hate how life and society, people, culture, always tell us to grow a pair, grow some balls and man up, be a man all the damn time, it's like all a girl, or a woman has to have is a vagina in order to be called a woman, but in order for us guys to be called a "Man", it's a lot more complicated than that

    • well i wouldn´t want to walk in an ugly and/or fat womans shoes...

  • It has been 10 years for me and I still have not moved on.

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  • sadly it took me nearly 2 years to get over just a female friend that i liked, she chose not to be in my life anymore and it was tough, i am happy to say i am not feeling down about this now because a year and a half was a long time to be heartbroken over nothing, i promised myself i would never feel this way again about a crush

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    • kind of the same prolem here... i hope she does that for me some day too xD if you have any insights on how to prevent it from happening, please share them.

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    • yeah once you replace the love you have for her for someone else you will feel much better, good luck mate

  • It is what it is!

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  • It depends on how long the relationship lasted. The longer you were involved, the more work you put into it, and the longer it takes to get over it.

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