Anxiety attacks and nightmares 7 months after break up, normal? And how to ease/end it.?

Okay, so it starts out with my ex of 3 & 1/2 years trying to pressure me into college last summer, she got me pretty close to going anyway I had no idea where to even start. She moved to her college in August and broke up with me in October because I showed no sign of going to college. Devastated enough in the first 3 months that it cost me my job, unemployed for the next 4 months. In those four months I end up blocking pretty much all contact and removing all memory triggers I can. End up getting enrolled to community college for this fall. End up also getting a summer part time job. But this is the problems I am having; I still have dreams about her which I don't want. I still keep having multiple anxiety attacks throughout each day. I have already heard the it will take time, find someone else, and keep busy a billion times. Thing is other women/men don't help, I have tried to keep busy and for the most part it works but my brain goes "hey I bet she is with like 5 guys right now". Are there any alternatives I can do? anything at all to help me through this agony? Oh and if it helps with anything, I have bipolar disorder.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You could try writing down your thoughts and what bothers you. That always helps me.

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What Girls Said 6

  • If you're finding it hard then speak to someone about it, I mean someone professional who can help you work through your outstanding issues and help you start to move on. This might give you the skills you need to help better deal with other aspects of your life that may seem difficult too. I hope you can move past this and be happy.

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  • Try talking to someone you trust, maybe take up some extra activities, maybe some sports. You need to keep your mind active but also give yourself permission to grieve

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    • everyone i have 'trusted' have has either blown me off like its nothing or to suck it up..

  • What apropos said.
    & if you feel your anxiety start to kick in take deeeep breaths that always helps me!
    Also look into meditation
    That helps me as well

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  • Go on holidays :)

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  • Not normal. Seek therapy.

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  • You need to force yourself to move on and stop thinking about her. It's hard and seems impossible to do but you have to

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    • well if I could have "forced myself to move on and stop thinking about her" I wouldn't be asking for help =/

What Guys Said 1

  • to be honest mate, she probably is with 5 guys right now... and has a man to be her gynecologist. You seem like a nice bloke, sensitive, thoughtful - she's right you probably should go to college but there's plenty of chicks who'd like to be filled in by you.

    In my experience the best way to get over someone is to replace them... go out and go find some one better

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    • That is not the best way to get over someone! That's dragging someone into your life to fill a gap they won't fit in to... Actually, it's a pretty crappy thing to do, getting involved with someone new when your still hung up on an ex. It's definitely not emotionally healthy!

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    • Going out and just sleeping with other people is just emotionally stifling or stagnating way to be. This society tries to get you to do the crappiest behaviors like sleeping around, instead of actually dealing with your problems...its actually really sad. Thats why I think you should consider therapy for a bit instead of coming on here asking randoms what to do.

    • Arwens - you're right, it's exceptionally shallow but, to me anyhow I've found it helps. I guess it's a confidence thing - It put the wind back in my sails and I kind of felt like I was the man again... there's nothing like someone saying they find you great to make you feel good about yourself! I guess it doesn't work for everyone, but has done in the past for me!

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