We lived together 2 years. Had promise rings. Things weren't amazing living together, but they weren't bad by any means. We had fun. We grew.
I cheated. And she wants to know if i had sex with this girl. Initially I told her we didn't. I told her she tried to kiss me, and I stopped her. I told her I was the one who sought the girl out though. (Thing is...I did have sex.)
I feel guilty. She's since then moved out, but is still clearly having intense feelings for me. She's not ready to let go..but is insistent for me to admit having sex with her.
Why is she doing this? To validate that I'm not the one and find another reason to hate me? Or to hear what I have to say and maybe, just maybe, try again someday.
(She says she can't begin the 'forgive process' until she hears the truth..)
Is this worth getting back into? I could honestly never do what i did again. I feel way to guilty to do so.
I don't know what to do
Most Helpful Girl
I was in a situation very similar to your girls not too long ago, so hopefully I can give some insight into how she is feeling. If she is anything like me, she will want to know every single detail- how many times, what positions, etc- which sounds too much to divulge, but to me, hearing every detail was better than living with my imagination filling in the gaps. I imagined things to be way worse than what they actually were. My husband (fiance at the time - yes I stayed with him :) ) was keeping things from me even after I found out and I definitely knew it. I could not start the mending process until I was satisfied that I knew absolutely everything. I'm not sure if it was some female intuitive sense that made me sure there were still things I didn't know or his story just didn't make sense, but I knew. And it is likely she does too and she will not stop trying to find out what you are keeping from her. Bottom line is, you have to tell her the full truth if there is any hope of reconciliation. If you don't give in she may convince herself that you're telling the truth and try to make it work, but even then you are forced to live with your lie, which can be incredibly painful. It will be incredibly painful for her too if the truth comes out later. Also, it is likely she will always feel inside her heart that you kept something from her and it may be incredibly difficult for her to live with. I wish you the best of luck.2