Should I go after my ex from 1.5 years ago?

She broke up with me because she said she never loved me. In all fairness, I never told her that I loved her after 10 months of dating. At first, I took the break up well, but then I missed her. I wrote her a long letter, met her in person, but to no avail.

We did see each other after months of nc, and it was amicable enough. However, she never came back to me. At one point, a dude was flirting with my ex, and while I later found out that she did not go for him, she did seem to enjoy the attention. That pissed me off, so I dated other women. My ex found out and she was rude to me the next time she saw me. I continued to take the high road. We would see each other here and there and it was always fake smiles, no conversations.

The funny thing is that I have dated other women since the ex. Most, if not all, have actually been at least if not, more attractive than my ex (as shallow as that may sound), but I have broken it off with all of them.

Now, I still find myself thinking of that ex. What is wrong with me? Is it because she dumped me? I don't know. I've tried ignoring her, dating others, been seen with other women in her presence. Nothing has made her reach out to me. She was the one who, at the break up, said she would be willing to remain friends, but I never heard a peep from her.

What to do?



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What Girls Said 1

  • I do believe in exes getting back together under some circumstances, but honestly...i think you need to throw in the towel here. I dont think she is for you bro.

    #1. You were in love with her...STRONG emotions and she did not feel the same about you.

    #2. She dumped YOU and now her value has skyrocketed which happens often to dumpees.

    #3. She is dating other men.

    #4.She doesn't even maintain contact as a friend.

    #5. She still hasn't come back to you and there is no showing that she will on the future.

    I feel as though you are keeping this "idea" of her and the relationship you want with her alive in your mind, but it does not align with reality. I feel because you are holding on so tight to this idea of her, it is stopping from meeting someone who WANTS to be with you. Sometimes its important to just let go.

    • Thanks for the well thought out comment. Did you mean that I value her now more because she dumped me? Perhaps. My friends tell me that I didn't seem that crazy about her at the time. I keep wondering if I refrained from dating other women would I have had a chance with her. After all, our first pst breakup meeting (2 months after the breakup) was somewhat friendly. But, I thought she should have been the one to initiate contact since she broke up with me. And, I was upset that she seemed to be flirting with another guy in my presence.

      This whole thing is so sad!

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    • Yes, well I have been taking chances within the last year (if you even want to call them chances) and been going to events where my ex could be. I ran into her a few times, but not lately. I am not sure if this means she is purposely trying to avoid me or is dating someone, or whatever.

      Either way, from a logical point of view, I know you are right. However, matters from the heart are rarely logical.

      I keep wondering what would have happened if I called her after the first, friendly, post break up encounter. I did not want to do so in part because she had previously told me about her exes (including married ones) nwho would call her for hookups. I have learned from many girls that apparently many ex boyfriends call back and I do not want to be like those guys.

    • Yeah, just move on. Honestly, from outside looking in, she doesn't sound like she deserves a "call back". Just move on.

What Guys Said 1

  • No man, don't go crawling back to an ex... go find a new girl you can start a clean slate with.

    I was in your position once, I wan't to get back with an ex so much... but then I realised how pointless it was, how much energy I was putting in it, and how many girls out there are better than her.


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