Am I the bad guy, ex dumps me twice because i'm not ambitious enough for her, she wants me to change for her I don't believe I should, she's hurt now?

Ok so me and my ex are both 20, we were together for a year when she first dumped me. Her reasons were because eventhough i am at university doing a law degree, i am not ambitious enough for her and she doesn't know where i'm going in life. I admit i'm not your super ambitious apply to every firm law student, i'm still in my first year of law and i like it but i don't have my whole life planned out. I'm still trying to discover my passions and what i want to do and be in the future. She on the other hand is the opposite super ambitious knows what she wants to be etc.

Anyway she dumped me because i'm not as ambitious as she would like me to be, also because i didn't go the gym that made her question what kind of father i would be because i can't be bothered to go to they gym and be ambitious etc. I'm not even fat, just a little out of shape, she however is overweight and although is signed up to a gym rarely goes and gained a significant amount of weight during our relationship, it never bothered me once as i love her for her and still was attracted to her and i told her this every day. She appreicated this but still told me i need to be more attractive to her and go the gym.

Anyway other reasons like me not being as religious as she wanted me to be also me not taking her out and buying her gifts enough when i did as much as i could i am a student.

Anyway so she breaks up with me we don't speak for 2 months, she reaches out to see how i am i ignore it. Anyway we start speaking again and get back together, she then has doubts about me again and dumps me after a month.

Now she wants me back a month later, we are friends with benefits, we was just friends after the 2nd break up until she initiated sex, maybe she is trying to use sex to win me back or be close to me i don't know. Anyway i told her i don't want to be with her because she doesn't know what she wants dumps me 1 min wants me back the next, she is hurt and upset now though...CONTINUED...
...CONTINUED...blames me for us not being together as i won't change and be more ambitious for her. I feel like her breaking up with me twice ruined what we had the bliss we had for 1 year is dead now because of it, we went to paris...CONTINUED...
...Morroco in our first 6 months together, we was so happy it was the last 6 months of our realtionship that all these demands of me arose and caused arguments and problems now i'm over our relationship am i a bad guy because she is upset?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I stopped reading after the first two paragraphs because I read all I needed to know to see that this girl is a bitch. She's overweight and you love her the way she is, yet you're slightly out of shape and she "still told you you need to be more attractive to her and go the gym"?

    This is the kind of woman that will never be happy and will point the finger at everyone but herself. You're wise to move on.


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What Girls Said 4

  • Your life is way too short to wait for someone who doesn't completly apprieate you. Your girlfriend should be in love with everything about you. When she's telling you to change who you are; that's a sign to find someone else or take a break. Don't worry though! If anyone, she's the bad guy for not seeing your positive characteristics over the negative ones! -best of luck:)

  • I don't need to read all to share my opinion. It's your life! Live the way you want! She is just your girlfriend, and even if she was your wife she has no right to tell you to live like this or like that. Man up and walk away from her. She has problems, not you. Live in the moment, enjoy your life :)

  • If someone dumps you purely because you have no ambition, then you should wave goodbye to them forever.

  • Why would you change for anyone

    • Thanks man preach!! I don't think i should change i mean she blamed me for not changing as to why we are not together. She says she has tried to change a lot and i haven't but what she has tried to changed hasn't really changed.

      I mean i'm a student i can't afford to take her out and spend lavish amount of money on her every day like her ex's i do it when i can, she says she has accepted that but every now and again she starts digging away at me about my inability to treat her like a woman. So she hasn't changed, it's difficult man but i think the best thing is to stay broken up it is hard though

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