Been in a relationship 3 years, all of a sudden out of the blue, she wanted me gone, found out through various methods that she was interested in another guy, told someone that she wanted to hook up with him and everything but was scared of falling for him more, and lied to that friend of hers saying he was interested and, if she got pregnant he'd love them both.
She made me look like a real monster to all her friends and family, and after i caught her she fessed up, admitting she "didn't know" why she was doing what she did, and knows she crushed me.
she's been on and off on anxiety pills, and terrible birth control that has messed with her mental psyche, and admits that she thinks she just went mental over this some how.
I called her out on her bullshit, and now we're at a standstill.
She wants a second chance; should I give it to her; why?
Here's a little additional info so to have a fully unbiased opinion:
1. We started dating she was 17, I was 19, she's been with me since, and hasn't lived a regular young teenage girl/adult life because she moved in and I'm not the drinking / party kinda guy.
2. she's never cheated before.
3. She does have a tendency of loosing her marbles.
4. she's always been with me, and doesn't really go out much so I know she couldn't have done anything until very recently.
5. She works with this guy.
6. She lied to her friends and family saying really bad stuff about me to ease the pain of what she was doing on herself, and made me look like the bad guy to save face.
6. Even after all this, I am Angry, upset, betrayed and feel reduced to nothing; HOWEVER, I do still love her with all my heart and do want this to work.
I've made mistakes in the past, never quite like this, but I believe everyone f***s up once in their life. she's agreed to come clean to everyone about all the lies.
- YesVote A
- NoVote B
Most Helpful Guy
First, never stick your dick in crazy. You've already described to us that she's crazy. So that's a definite argument for the "No 2nd chance" opinion.
However, let's say you DO happen to giver her a second chance. Now what? What's to say she won't cheat or try to cheat again? What's to say she'll still care for you a year down the road? What's to say the relationship will ever be the same again?
Nothing. There's nothing that says she has atoned her sins or ever will. There are many levels in a relationship, but trust is the foundation. Followed by commitment. Then crap like love, sex, etc. come along.
She already destroyed the commitment level, and the trust one is left in ruins. It can never, ever, be rebuilt at that point. No matter what, there will always be doubt. Doubt about would could happen, doubt about what WILL happen. Just doubt. The fact that she isn't level headed either isn't helping.
Not only that, but she ruined you too in the process. It doesn't matter what she tells her friends and family, how she apologizes and admits her guilt, you will ALWAYS be the bad guy. She could have stabbed you, but they would have still taken her side and seen you as the attacker, even though you are really the victim. That viewpoint will never change. Also, she's extremely selfish by hurting your reputation, name, and importance by her acts. That means she doesn't really care if you are expendable to ease her pain.
I'd say break up and move on. You've got lots of life left in you. I can guarantee that every single GOOD quality she had can be found in at least 100,000 other single women within a road trip of you. And they don't have any of the bad qualities of her either. Just learn from this and move on. Your back is against the wall at this point, just sticking around won't do anything. So break-up with her, break contact if you have to and find a better woman and life out there. Good luck.0