So she tried to cheat.. What would a rational action be?

Been in a relationship 3 years, all of a sudden out of the blue, she wanted me gone, found out through various methods that she was interested in another guy, told someone that she wanted to hook up with him and everything but was scared of falling for him more, and lied to that friend of hers saying he was interested and, if she got pregnant he'd love them both.

She made me look like a real monster to all her friends and family, and after i caught her she fessed up, admitting she "didn't know" why she was doing what she did, and knows she crushed me.

she's been on and off on anxiety pills, and terrible birth control that has messed with her mental psyche, and admits that she thinks she just went mental over this some how.
I called her out on her bullshit, and now we're at a standstill.

She wants a second chance; should I give it to her; why?

Here's a little additional info so to have a fully unbiased opinion:

1. We started dating she was 17, I was 19, she's been with me since, and hasn't lived a regular young teenage girl/adult life because she moved in and I'm not the drinking / party kinda guy.
2. she's never cheated before.
3. She does have a tendency of loosing her marbles.
4. she's always been with me, and doesn't really go out much so I know she couldn't have done anything until very recently.
5. She works with this guy.
6. She lied to her friends and family saying really bad stuff about me to ease the pain of what she was doing on herself, and made me look like the bad guy to save face.
6. Even after all this, I am Angry, upset, betrayed and feel reduced to nothing; HOWEVER, I do still love her with all my heart and do want this to work.

I've made mistakes in the past, never quite like this, but I believe everyone f***s up once in their life. she's agreed to come clean to everyone about all the lies.

2nd chance?

  • Yes
    Vote A
  • No
    Vote B
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
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Most Helpful Guy

  • First, never stick your dick in crazy. You've already described to us that she's crazy. So that's a definite argument for the "No 2nd chance" opinion.

    However, let's say you DO happen to giver her a second chance. Now what? What's to say she won't cheat or try to cheat again? What's to say she'll still care for you a year down the road? What's to say the relationship will ever be the same again?
    Nothing. There's nothing that says she has atoned her sins or ever will. There are many levels in a relationship, but trust is the foundation. Followed by commitment. Then crap like love, sex, etc. come along.

    She already destroyed the commitment level, and the trust one is left in ruins. It can never, ever, be rebuilt at that point. No matter what, there will always be doubt. Doubt about would could happen, doubt about what WILL happen. Just doubt. The fact that she isn't level headed either isn't helping.

    Not only that, but she ruined you too in the process. It doesn't matter what she tells her friends and family, how she apologizes and admits her guilt, you will ALWAYS be the bad guy. She could have stabbed you, but they would have still taken her side and seen you as the attacker, even though you are really the victim. That viewpoint will never change. Also, she's extremely selfish by hurting your reputation, name, and importance by her acts. That means she doesn't really care if you are expendable to ease her pain.

    I'd say break up and move on. You've got lots of life left in you. I can guarantee that every single GOOD quality she had can be found in at least 100,000 other single women within a road trip of you. And they don't have any of the bad qualities of her either. Just learn from this and move on. Your back is against the wall at this point, just sticking around won't do anything. So break-up with her, break contact if you have to and find a better woman and life out there. Good luck.


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 3

  • It's a tough question. You love her, which is a pro for giving a second chance, but the problem is: that's the only pro. She hurt you, lied about you to her friends and family, almost cheated, has a tendency to lose it, ... Do you see a stable future with her? I'm all for giving a second chance, I mean, we all make a mistake. But the hurt and pain coming from that mistake should be taken into account. Will you be able to trust her after this?
    I've given second chances and somehow most people screw them up, which lead to being hurt a second time.

  • Absolutely not! She does not have loyalty when it comes to you. You only have one life don't waste it on someone whos just putting a strain on it

  • No.She sounds mentally unstable, she does things without knowing she has done them, like "almost cheat". I wouldn't trust a person like that, also she is a liar, she lied to you, she lied to her friends and her family. What to stop her from lying again? You may never trust her again and without trust your relationship will turn to poo.


What Guys Said 4

  • There is not a happily ever after in this case. If she has a tendency to lose her marbles and go bats on you, you are setting yourself up for more of the same behavior. Love is stupid and blind sometimes, but you have to also look at what its going to do with you. If you love her, get her some help, get her to a therapist, but if you aren't going to do that, then you are just slitting your own wrists here. You can't help her on your own, there is not promises that she won't do this again, only worse.
    If you do give her a second chance you do it at your own peril.

  • No, do 100mph in the opposite direction. I think you'd be an idiot if you gave her a second chance. You don't need a woman like this, using birth control and anxiety as excuses is stupid. You said she has a tendency to lose her marbles, and she did and said all that shit behind your back.

    If you stay it's highly likely that she'll do it again, and you've been warned by everybody here, so you deserve all you get. I'd move on and find a girl who isn't a nutcase.

  • Dump her as quickly as you can.

  • No second chance. She is not ready for one, and doesn't deserve one.