Boyfriend broke up with me...but I don't feel much after the breakup. Is that bad?

My boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me. We got into a HUGE fight 2 days ago. He's been going through a lot with his family and said horrible things like I didn't love him, I have no drive, he's not looking forward to move in with me or start a life with me. This broke my heart and I kept questioning myself ' where did I go wrong?' I told myself i'm the worst girlfriend and i'm so stupid. He's been drinking for the past 2 weeks because he's been going through a lot. Alcoholism runs in his family and he pretty much looked at me and said I don't love him enough to take away the beer from him. Any girlfriend who loves his boyfriend would do that. This tore me apart and made me feel horrible. He told me that he doesn't know where this relationship will go. He said he doesn't even feel like cuddling with me anymore and is not excited to see me anymore lately. He told me I don't dress up for him anymore, don't surprise him, don't buy him things, etc. To my defense, he's been on his phone and instagram A LOT and rarely paid any attention to me. It completely turned me off, making me feel like he doesn't want me. I cook for him, clean for him, am there for him through EVERYTHING, yet he says he cannot be a boyfriend to me now. It hurts me knowing the person I love doesn't see the same future I see with him, but it's not the first time he's broken up with the same reason, but would come back and I would let him back because I love him so much and wanted to be with him. This time, I was upset but I feel drained from everything. I feel tired and now I'm beginning to question if I'm willing to go through it again if he comes back...please help me with this


Most Helpful Guy

  • First of there isn't anything wrong with you or him. He is going through a downward spiral with only moments of clarity. He needs help and he is looking it from you. If you are ready to keep this relationship you have one hell of a battle ahead if you nasty things will be said apologies will be made promises will be broken but if you can stay strong and survive it all. You'll have one awesome guy who has been saved and he will be truly yours forever. It isn't fair he expects you to save him and bare his frustration and stress. I know this cause I had been in his spot few years ago and just got outta the self destructive downward spiral. Im single cause my girl neverunderstood me intact added to the problem. Feel free to message me if you wish to salvage this relationship or to know what more you should expect further more

    • I think I gave up on our relationship a while back but I just didn't want to accept it. He was the first person I pictured my life with and I didn't want to loose that. I got tired of him being hot and cold with me. I just wanted security in the relationship and I was looking for it in someone who has shown me he cannot provide it because he does not know what he wants. It hurts me saying this but I cannot continue to beat a dead horse. A part of me still wants to give it another shot IF he decides to come back but I don't know if I'm willing to put my love on the line again for another disappointment and disillusion

    • Then it's better you move on cause until he deals with the issues he has now don't expect anything from him. Cause he is the one going through a major struggle and he can't give you any attention. He needs someone who will not make it about themselves and love him unconditionally

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What Guys Said 2

  • He has some deep issues there, especially with the drinking. Sounds like your relationship has permanently ran out of gas. Sounds like no matter what you would do he wouldn't be happy or appreciate you anyway. I think you know in your soul that is it is over. Your brain also knows it, but the heart is always last to figure it out. Good luck!

  • have him go to rehab for his drinking and aa meeting if he comes back and his doctor some men handle things different then other men and a lot of times its booze or drugs or both tell him you will even go with him for support


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