What would you think if you had a break up and then your ex didn't contact you?
Lets say you were unsure of the relationship and it was just given up on, but you still love them.
If you were insecure would you move on thinking they wern't interested anymore.
My boyfriend needed time to think, wasn't 100%, didn't know if we worked anymore or what the right thing to do was.
I told him I couldn't keep hanging around, he said well that's that then. So I stoped contacting him.
He kept finding a reason to message me then came to drop my stuff off.
He couldn't admit that he had told lies to his friends that were really hurtfull, he then found excuses for them. He said sorry for treating me badly. Again he said he didn't know if we worked.
I told him I didn't know if I could be with someone who doesn't care for others and lies even to their freinds. I told him he has to stop or he will end up alone and told him he was a nasty peice of work.
We had a pretty rough two months and neither of us went the right way about much.
He couldn't look at me and when he did he looked so sad and upset. He held his head in his hand.
I found out he is insecure about being hurt and abandoned. He had a rough childhood and his mother walked out on the family. To stop being hurt again he pushes others away and becomes nasty.
I really would like to try again. There is so much to salvage and we didn't try very hard to fix our problems. Just got angry with each other.
Should I continue to not talk to him, or how long should I leave it?
As he is an insecure person I don't know which way is best.
I have some of his things and he wanted a CD of our holiday photos.
He has taken me off his friends list on facebook.
Most Helpful Guy
Utterly and completely. However , In you case?
The reality of it is, he may have existing trust issues, abandonment issues, self-esteem issues. And sure you want to reconcile with him, tackle the downs and share the ups with him, and be a person he can trust and relay. But, unfortunately, his seemingly ambivalence about reconciling with you may or may not be a consequence of his personal issues.
And considering the fact that he genuinely cares about you, it's of little surprise that he seemed distraught and miserable when he looked at you. He is attached emotionally, and he misses you. Yet, again, that may or may not be an indication of how he feels about a reconciliation.
Despite popular belief, being distant or going no contact with you former after a breakup can actually perpetuate the process and increase the difficulty to overcome it, especially if the friendship between the exes were as significant as the romantic relationship.
With that being said, communicating with him may not be a bad idea, even if on a limited basis. Given his history, the impact of the breakup may carry significantly more weight with him. Perhaps a series of one-on-one, honest, in-depth dialogues about the relationship, each other's expectations and wants and needs are in order.
Contact the guy.2