I was in an abusive relationship and he was an alcoholic. I decided to pack all my stuff and leave him one night, but I ended up hanging out with him again and he seems to have changed. He apologizes for the shitty way he trneated me and begs for another chance. We were together for 2 years and I just can't find it in me to break his heart. I'm hoping his changes are permanent. I want to be with him but then again I don't. Ugh. What do I do? How can I nicely break it off? I really need an outsiders opinion because clearly I don't have enough backbone to say I'm done. I'm over you. I'm moving on.
Most Helpful Guy
I would like to point out that ARE in an abusive relationship, and he IS and alcoholic. Nothing between you has actually changed. Any change that you feel has happened is only in your mind. Has this man received treatment, changed habits and hangouts, tried taking better care of himself? or has he just acted nicer and apologized? If all that has "changed" is his current attitude, then there is no proof that the necessary deep change that you need to stay in the relationship has happened. You deserve to be loved AND treated well by someone who is willing to grow in a relationship with you. You will not be breaking his heart. He choose to break it himself every time he put his drink before your feelings. You want to be with "who you want him to be", not with "who he really is". So it's not about growing a backbone, it's about letting go of the fantasy you have of a life with this guy, and going out and finding real love.0THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
Most Helpful Girl
don't give him another chance. he's out of chances. You don't want to get sucked back in only to have your heart crushed again. He doesn't care about you as much as he says, unfortunately. To get over him I'd suggest being with your friends and keeping busy doing other activities as long as you can. Being alone is when it hurts the most. You fell in love with him a first time when he didn't appear to be an abuser, but he could be fooling you again. Tell him you still love him but not in the same way you used to. Tell him he will always be a part of you but you can't be with him and it'll be better for both of you to work on yourselves individually. so sorry to hear what you've been through. :/1THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE