How do I let my boyfriend of 2 years go?

I was in an abusive relationship and he was an alcoholic. I decided to pack all my stuff and leave him one night, but I ended up hanging out with him again and he seems to have changed. He apologizes for the shitty way he trneated me and begs for another chance. We were together for 2 years and I just can't find it in me to break his heart. I'm hoping his changes are permanent. I want to be with him but then again I don't. Ugh. What do I do? How can I nicely break it off? I really need an outsiders opinion because clearly I don't have enough backbone to say I'm done. I'm over you. I'm moving on.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I would like to point out that ARE in an abusive relationship, and he IS and alcoholic. Nothing between you has actually changed. Any change that you feel has happened is only in your mind. Has this man received treatment, changed habits and hangouts, tried taking better care of himself? or has he just acted nicer and apologized? If all that has "changed" is his current attitude, then there is no proof that the necessary deep change that you need to stay in the relationship has happened. You deserve to be loved AND treated well by someone who is willing to grow in a relationship with you. You will not be breaking his heart. He choose to break it himself every time he put his drink before your feelings. You want to be with "who you want him to be", not with "who he really is". So it's not about growing a backbone, it's about letting go of the fantasy you have of a life with this guy, and going out and finding real love.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • don't give him another chance. he's out of chances. You don't want to get sucked back in only to have your heart crushed again. He doesn't care about you as much as he says, unfortunately. To get over him I'd suggest being with your friends and keeping busy doing other activities as long as you can. Being alone is when it hurts the most. You fell in love with him a first time when he didn't appear to be an abuser, but he could be fooling you again. Tell him you still love him but not in the same way you used to. Tell him he will always be a part of you but you can't be with him and it'll be better for both of you to work on yourselves individually. so sorry to hear what you've been through. :/

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • If it's really what you want, you just have to do it. Noone can really help you on this one. Just make your decision, and if you want to go tell him exactly why and make sure he can't contact you again. There is no real nice way to leave someone, if he really wanted to be with you he will feel like shit no matter how you put it

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  • What do you mean what do you do?

    You either buy his bullshit, take him back, and get abused some more, or you grow a spine.

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  • just do it...in 5-6 months you'll be dating someone else and glad you did...hes obviously not someone that you are going to be with long term...2 years so what...youve got your life to live

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What Girls Said 3

  • The guy I like is like that.. He is not a good person and is very disrespectful. He can't communicate good and is abusive. He has bad anger issues.. He doesn't care about anyone but himself.. That's how they ae. He didn't change, they never change. That's how he is and who he is.. This guy acts like nothing ever happened when he's mean.. An aoology is just words. Actions mean more.. I wouldn't trust him.. I'm done with this guy and trying to forget him.. You should to..

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  • Why should you care about breaking his heart when he didn't care about breaking yours?
    You want to be with him because of habit, not love.
    Do you really want to spend the rest of your living days with him?
    Don't you think you deserve better?

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  • This is called the cycle of abuse, and no, he hasn't changed. You should cut off all contact, and leave it at that. I'm sorry for your experience, but this story isn't unique, and many women go back to men like that, it never works out.

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