He left me to go traveling, because he wants to know what his life is like without me. Still he keeps saying that he loves and misses me?

So here's my story... I was 18 when I met him, he was 21. I was suffering from anorexia, but fell head over heals in love with him. As our relationship became more serious, he started fighting against my anorexia, telling me I would have to choose between him and my disease. After fights, lies, manipulating and a lot of almost-break up situations, I chose him. But in the year following that moment, I got entangled in other addictions: binge eating and a sport addiction. During our whole relationship we kept fighting our demons to stay together, out of love for one another. He put huge amounts of energy into me, trying to drag me through whatever I was going through.
I study Chinese, so for my studies, I left to China, twice. Only the second time, something cracked. One weekend, he skyped me, telling me that he couldn't do this anymore, that he needed to figure out what his life was like without me. He said that he had been giving up parts of his life for me, following me in my decisions , coming to China, spending less time with his friends, all for 'us'. He then said that he had met another girl and that they got along so well. She drank beer (I of course didn't), she loved to party, she was easy, no heavy baggage, just.. fun.
Even though he had broken up with me, he kept texting me saying that he missed me, that this was so hard. I flew back to try and win him back. He ended up breaking up with this girl, spending a lot of time with me, sleeping with me. We had a great month, although I was dying on the inside because he said he wanted to wasn't changing his mind about the break-up, he needed time.
Now that I am back in China and he left travelling, he still keeps telling me that he thinks I am the woman of his life, that he thinks he will come back to me, that he still loves me and longs for me.. But all I keep thinking is, is that he will stop loving me or realize he doesn't love me anymore. That he will meet someone else..
Do I believe him? Do I wait?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • If he truly thinks he will come back to you, loves you, and longs for you, he has his answer. His journey should be over by now. Something fishy is going on here.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I wouldn't wait. He is living his life so you need to live yours too. He's not waiting for you. He's keeping you on a leash so to speak. You're his backup plan so he will tell you all the things you need to hear. What happens when he finds someone else and he winds up marrying her? You waited and will be devestated. You have to take care of yourself and be happy with your life. Put yourself first at this point. He broke up with you so you need to move on. If it is meant to be then you will find your way back to each other. Until then, you should cut ties with each other for the most part so you can heal. Don't miss out on other life experiences in the meantime.

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What Guys Said 1

  • just try to do the same thing he told u

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What Girls Said 4

  • U shouldn't wait for him since he already fell for someone n u had to fly back to make him realize he loves you. and he still 'thinks' that u are the woman of his life. U can't keep waiting for someone who isn't sure what he wants

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  • Don't wait. If you both want to be together later in life, you'll find one another. Until then, don't put your life on hold. I'm sure he loves and misses you, but that's not enough.

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  • Basically he needs space and time to figure out if he truly is in love with you and if he can stand not having you in his life as his girlfriend im 22 I lost mine kind of that way but! He came back around so I guess he can't or doesn't know how

    Wait? Mmm in a way yes but then no focus on you and do the same as well see if you can live w/o him or if you can't do so by continuing your life and if after some time you realize you still want something then you cant, let him know reach out to him once you realize it and if he feels the same hell come bck around

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  • I believe that you need time for yourself without him to work on the anorexia. You need to heal in order to love anyone in a healthy way. There is nothing wrong with loving sports and with eating healthily. We all want health without being anorexic.

    Use this time away from him to focus on your health and you other goals. Don't stay hung up on him, continue living your life fully and be open to love and happiness.

    And when he comes back, if you are still single you and him can talk and see if you can start over. Love yourself and heal yourself before loving him or anyone else.

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