Is it ok to contact an old EX?

Long post, would love any feedback.

Early last year I dated this great girl for about 4 months. She was very shy and inexperienced and even mentioned that it took her a lot of time to feel comfortable around new people. I'm the same way in a lot of ways, so we took it slow.

In March 2013 she broke up with me. We spoke on the phone for at least an hour. She cried and sobbed, told me that while she felt an emotional connection with me, it was all too much work.

I never begged, but told her how I felt and then said goodbye and immediately went NC.

A few months later she texted me out of the blue, wondering how I was. I took a day and finally responded. Found out someone really close to her passed away and I was one of the first people she reached out to.

Over the next few weeks we texted lightly. And finally had an amazing 2 hour phone call chatting and laughing about everything. She told me she missed me everyday, cried, wanted to chat to me sooner etc. I asked if that meant she wanted to try again, but...she said no. I think she really wanted to be friends, because that was safer for her. But she also admitted to knowing that we couldn't be just friends. We said our goodbyes. Both promising that this wouldn't be the last time we ever spoke again.

So I went and lived my life. Dated others. Worked. Everything.

It's almost been a year since we last spoke and I've started thinking about her again. I'd like to text her. Even just to say hi. See how things are. (Also her bday is coming up, but I'm thinking that would be a bad day to try to reconnect)

I understand all about exes being exes, and NC. And I fully subscribe to that. But it's been over a year, and I honestly don't feel bad about any outcome.

Any advice?


Most Helpful Girl

  • i suggest contacting her, maybe she will be even be surprised and think its sweet you remember her birthday. As time goes on, sometimes its not bad idea to contact those you use to connect well with. Everyones matures and grows as a person. Worst case, you are still better off than where you stand atm. If she doesn't contact you back, or it only leads to chit chat and stops there at least you will not be wondering and possibly regretting not getting back in contact with her.


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What Girls Said 4

  • well, the fact that you're on here asking whether you should or shoudn't I think is answer enough. Nope. Unless you plan on getting attached again, don't do it, because I know, you will get attached again.

  • I'd do it, why not? It can't hurt, and maybe in this time, she will realize what she's missing and maybe she's more open and mature now.

  • why not? its not going to hurt anyone so you might as well be friendly about it.

  • i would go ahead and contact


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