how do i get over this when i can't think of the bad times to help me?
Most Helpful Guy
Cut off contact. No pictures, no texting, no messaging, nothing.
Most Helpful Girl
Aww I'm sorry. Breakups can be crushing, I know. Luckily, enduring the shittiness myself has taught me a lot about healing.
1. Acknowledge your sadness. Talk it out with a close friend, listen to breakup songs, cry. It sucks, but running away from it only intensifies the pain. If you're interested, here are some songs that have really helped me:
This Isn't Everything You Are- Snow Patrol
Bonfire- Third Eye Blind
After the Storm- Mumford and Sons
Details in the Fabric- Jason Mraz
I'm Gonna Find Another You- John Mayer
Shake it Out- Florence and the Machine
2. Cut off contact. Don't go back and read old texts and def don't Facebook stalk. As hard as it is, it's crucial to your recovery.
3. Practice self-love and self-compassion. I learned this stuff in my studies as a psych major. It has been shown that people with high self-esteem bounce back from breakups better and faster than those with low-self esteem, so take some time to acknowledge what's so great and desirable about you. Really take time to soak it in and believe in it. Similarly, psych studies suggest that people who practice self-compassion bounce back from negative life events better. This means react to yourself as you would to a friend who is dealing with this. Acknowledge that this sucks, offer yourself sympathy, take care of yourself, have a desire to ease your pain.
4. Know that this isn't a reflection of your faults. Breakups happen all the time, and it doesn't mean that you weren't good enough, or that you are not desirable.
5. When you're ready, think about what was wrong with the relationship. Even if you're not at a point yet that you can see it, something must be there. Acknowledge it and imagine a future relationship in which that problem isn't present.
7. Know that you'll be okay. It's hard to imagine, but you WILL get over him eventually.
Finally, here is a blog on breakups that has helped me tons: www.psychologytoday.com/.../schlepping-through-heartbreak
Hang in there!!!