Boyfriend broke up with me, how do I get over him?

how do i get over my ex, we went out for 6 months, we never had any issues what so ever, never had fights or bad times, etc he broke up cause he didn't want a relationship and he started crying. he says he wants to do his own thing etc etc

how do i get over this when i can't think of the bad times to help me?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Aww I'm sorry. Breakups can be crushing, I know. Luckily, enduring the shittiness myself has taught me a lot about healing.
    1. Acknowledge your sadness. Talk it out with a close friend, listen to breakup songs, cry. It sucks, but running away from it only intensifies the pain. If you're interested, here are some songs that have really helped me:
    This Isn't Everything You Are- Snow Patrol
    Bonfire- Third Eye Blind
    After the Storm- Mumford and Sons
    Details in the Fabric- Jason Mraz
    I'm Gonna Find Another You- John Mayer
    Shake it Out- Florence and the Machine
    2. Cut off contact. Don't go back and read old texts and def don't Facebook stalk. As hard as it is, it's crucial to your recovery.
    3. Practice self-love and self-compassion. I learned this stuff in my studies as a psych major. It has been shown that people with high self-esteem bounce back from breakups better and faster than those with low-self esteem, so take some time to acknowledge what's so great and desirable about you. Really take time to soak it in and believe in it. Similarly, psych studies suggest that people who practice self-compassion bounce back from negative life events better. This means react to yourself as you would to a friend who is dealing with this. Acknowledge that this sucks, offer yourself sympathy, take care of yourself, have a desire to ease your pain.
    4. Know that this isn't a reflection of your faults. Breakups happen all the time, and it doesn't mean that you weren't good enough, or that you are not desirable.
    5. When you're ready, think about what was wrong with the relationship. Even if you're not at a point yet that you can see it, something must be there. Acknowledge it and imagine a future relationship in which that problem isn't present.
    7. Know that you'll be okay. It's hard to imagine, but you WILL get over him eventually.
    Finally, here is a blog on breakups that has helped me tons:
    Hang in there!!!

    • he also said that i always sell myself short of my intelligence, i guess its just hard when someone like sees good qualities in you and now they're out of your life now

      its jsut funny how he cried when he broke up with me.

      thankyou so much you really helped :)

    • I know it is. That's why it's so important to learn to do it for yourself! Everybody has to. And yeah, he clearly has stuff going on, and it's okay to find solace in the idea that losing you hurt and that you meant something to him for the purpose of maintaining your self-esteem, as long as you don't use it as false hope or hold onto it for too long.
      And I'm so happy to help, I've been there girl! You're young, and there are so many other guys to come!

    • yeah i wont, thankyou so much though, and youtoo :)

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • Cut off contact. No pictures, no texting, no messaging, nothing.

    • even if he's like you can talk to me anytime/call me anytime but just dont do it to ruin yourself? he says we will alwys catch up and stuff etc. but i know defs catch up is purely to see how each other is going

  • Try to put your mind on hobby's or work. Usually keeping self busy will work your mind to not thinking of him

  • Can I know what put you 2 together at first?

    • his intelligence, he was a smart boy, he was also very kind to me, had good morals and values. i saw him as a good person and i always had fun with him everytime we saw each other

    • I see this as you admired him a lot and just love the way for him being smart huh? Sorta like my girl... Well... Just if you really like him then let him be! You would enjoy being together with him until you find out that your actually not that into him. But just enjoying his company.

      Maybe you two will be better friends than couple.

    • basically yeah, he says we can catch up and stuff, and he's always like you can message me anytime etc etc, he also started crying when he broke it off with me though, which was funny haha but yeah of course i'll let him go, you can't continue relationships if it doesn't work for the other person

What Girls Said 3

  • You could talk to an objective friend and discuss with him/her your relationship with your ex. On the surface it may seem like the breakup happened all out of the blue, but there may be some subtle signs and issues along the way that may have led up to the breakup, and you really need to confront these issues to prevent a repeat of these patterns for you next time. Think about what when wrong with a friend, and think about the right too! Your relationship sounds like a relatively happy one, and I'm sure there were some things that helped your relationship at the start. Also, put yourself and what you want first. Your ex doesn't make you any more/less of a person, and you can continue pursuing your interests like dancing or singing without him. There will definitely be a period of time when you feel terrible about the breakup, but just take it in your stride, confront it and try to understand better what could have possibly led to the breakup, and pursue other hobbies that make you feel good :) It's all about confronting your feelings and situation with honesty.

  • Only time will help you get over it

  • 6 months only? U should be happy that it happened now , cuz if it was longer , it would be much more painful , you'll get over it :/