What should I do? Feeling trapped?

My girlfriend and I are best friends we hang out nearly everyday and I love her a lot (we've been dating for around 5-6 months). Recently I have started to feel like she's not showing that she cares for me as much even though she's gets me lots of things (food, gifts) I feel like we're not there on an emotional level and are drifting apart, we used to be really close and talk about everything. We have been playing this stupid game of saying we're going to take a break and get back together within 2 days of saying it. A couple nights ago she told me she was going to come hangout and then delayed it to see a friend that was upset but she did end up coming after and I was frustrated because I feel like I come last in her priorities so when she came I gave her all the stuff she left at my house and she freaked out and said we're done forever but ended up staying the night because I told her i'm sorry and regret doing that because I was frustrated ( i told her why I did that) and we agreed to stay together. The next morning she left and texted me I think we should take a break and I told her okay and blocked her off all ways of contact but except one (I forgot to). Near the end of the day she messages me on snapchat saying to unblock her, she wants me to go on a holiday with her and to stay the night and hangout so I was like okay lets have a talk about whats going on before that so she came over and I tried to talk to her and she told me she has lost feeling for me because she doesn't think I care about her and everything I do is about myself, I feel like I don't act this way but I might be a little selfish sometimes. The talk didn't go so well I asked her what she wants in the relationship and she told me that i'm her only friend that she trusts but then told me that we can never be together I feel like its going around in circles and I just want a solid relationship. I care about her lots and love her, Should I keep trying or try to move on? Tips would be great!
Please consider that I would really like to try to make it work with her, please help me by giving me advice on how to handle the situation and heal things between me and her.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Not to be a dick or anything, but you said you guys are starting to drift apart, and nothing is the same, but youv only been together for a few months.
    Anyway, honestly (not trying to be a dick again) it sounds like you guys are being high schoolers. You might or might not be, but this going back and forth (from you and her) saying things like "break" is kinds dumb, especially if youv only been together a few months. If you guys get along, that's it. If you dont, then you probably shouldn't be together. Its early enough in the relationship that IF you do break up, it won't be the end of the world.
    Blocking her, and her saying your just a friend, is stupid.
    My advice for you: you need to stop with the blocking or any unfriending. Take electronics and social media out of the relationship. Allow her to do her business (her life/friend issues) by herself. Be there when she needs you to be. Be kind to her every day. If it doesn't work out, that's fine too. But just dont go back and forth with her. It's dumb, and childish.

    • I appreciate the answer. I should be looking more at my life instead of trying to be there for her 24/7. How should I bring up that I don't want to keep circling breaking up and getting back together because I agree it is childish and dumb, I hate it. But I feel like its hard to avoid because one little issue comes up and thats the easiest option to take, just to break up instead of talking about it. (I forgot to mention that she has a hard time talking about her emotions and how she feels so she tends to go to drastic and dramatic options... like breaking up or freaking out.)

    • You can just tell her flat out. Something like "look. Im going to give you your space, but I will be here for you if you need me. I want to stop talking about a break. I think if we have a problem, we should just be able to sit down and talk about our issues. If either of us is too angry at the moment, then we can take a walk or time to cool off. But after that I want to hear you, and I want us to fix us."

    • Thanks. That's the type of advice i've been looking for. :)

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What Girls Said 3

  • You must understand her world does not revolve around you. She will have to go see her friends at some point it's not just you, you, you. She needs a life outside of the relationship.

    • Thanks, I agree I have to realize that's she is not all mine. It's just every time she asks a favor from me and asks me to be there for her I drop everything to be there for her and I don't think it's very selfish to ask that I'd like to receive the same, I believe relationships are give and take but I just feel like I put in a lot more effort than she does for me. Should I back off and give it some space?

    • Well that's the problem! She's your life D: you need to give her and yourself space.

  • She should be a priority but not always the first. You both should exist outside of your relationship. It does sound like the two of you care for each other very much, but I think you guys should just give each other some space for a while. Not cut her off completely, but limit contact. It sounds like she's struggling in staying herself and not making you her life though she does care about you greatly.

  • You need to do what makes you happy and what you think is best if you guys are drifting apart maybe a break up but still keep in contact is the best thing to do but you should not block her because if it is meant to be things will fall into place


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