Boyfriend of 2.5 years at the end of his rope? Will give best answers sorry so long?

He snapped on me Friday and I told him how sick of it I am. We didn't talk until Sunday.

He said how he never has time for himself. He works, works out, and has social anxiety (no friends). He goes to group sessions about it and cried like for at least 2 hours on and off about how he doesn't want conflict anymore, his social anxiety and how he believes he is very ill, and how he spends all his free time with me and has no friends.

My only thing was stop being mean to me. If your stressed communicate. But he kept saying how what if he wanted to go to Canada to find himself or his mom dies and he has to care for his 26 and 20 yr old brother and I can't talk to him anymore? He feels I only care about the relationship and not him personally. I just want a boyfriend he says.

I'm confused? I love him? Duh? So I told him I don't want to feel like an anchor and ik Sunday was stressful and to hmu next week when he is ready to talk about changes and compromises. (We usually see each other Wednesday night Saturday and Sunday)

Ik we fight a lot. He kept saying I can't give you what you need. I just feel he is so distant. But I just realized I think it's cuz he's stressed. -.- and I nag him

Ik he encouraged me to file for Ssi because of my lupus and for 6 months I have been out of work. But I live alone. I have no family. I'm not the woman I was when he met me. We both have been through so much. He kept crying I just don't know how to fix this.

He has doubts. I don't know if it's too late or what to say when we do talk about changes when we talk next week.

He just doesn't want conflict. I'm his first gf he's 23.

Ik I have trust issues but I feel he wants to dump me but is too afraid of how I will feel. But I think it's because he's stressed not a pimp.

Heeeeelp guys!! He won't talk to someone about this with me so everyone here is all I have I need help understanding. And help muzzling my insecurities about him using excuses. :(


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Most Helpful Guy

  • leave him alone to destress and go to Canada

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Most Helpful Girl

  • The best thing would be to give both of you some time apart. Not breaking up, but take time out for both of yourselves separated. Let him have a week or so to himself, and you have a week to yourself. Both of y'all should enjoy whatever your hobbies are and try to recuperate from the stress and arguing. If you continue arguing, it will be doing more damage on the relationship as well as both of you. You may can tell him some tips on becoming less stressed, like picking up more hobbies if he doesn't have any such as gaming, hiking, anything.

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    • Thank you ik u don't think so but ur helping me a whole lot. I guess I'm so afraid of being lied to I come on even harder on him and nag even more than I should. I'm always unhappy with something but after seeing him cry I didn't realize all along he just really is tired. I always am insecure thinking he is trying to play me or is trying to blow me off.

      I admit I'm crazy girlfriend mode but I can't get better if I don't have help.

      I will try to give him advice. I'm just scared he's going to diss me. Ur helping me see I kind of have problems

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    • XD omg okay I will work on it for sure ur really the best ever thank you so much I'm worried because he's been depressed for so long :(

    • :) Hope everything get's better for you and your boyfriend!

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 1

  • I totally get where you're coming from with this, my bf and I of 4 years have been through this. About two summers ago we went through hell, lost our friends and it was mainly him who was having the meltdown and blamed me for him losing his friends. I felt awful to the point I didn't even wanna be with him anymore just so he can be with his friends. That break was the best thing that happened to us. We're better than ever now and left all that behind us

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