If it's not sex, why the hell would a guy want to be friends with a girl he was in love with?

He broke up with me, saying we had no future. But he really wants to be friends. Really bad. But it's not sex because I tried to hook up with him and he turned me down and said it would be bad for our friendship.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You assume that he's in love with you on a romantic level but you two broke up and now he's trying to bring it to a platonic friendship level. He wants to be friends, he sees you as an ideal female but he's not in love with you like that. I assume he wants to be around a female that he feels comfortable and loves on a friendship and somewhat a romantic level but not to the point where he's interested in you like that. It's like you having a girl best friend, but that person is a guy instead but don't treat him like a gay bff. You two don't see eye to eye, you two broke up so you want things to be over, he sees it as you still being there for him even though you two aren't like that anymore. If you don't like what has gone down between you two then just break all contact, that's the best way.

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    • I think I might break contact, I don't want to be there when he get's a new girlfriend! Thank you this was very helpful :-)

    • Yeah, you have to do what's best for you. Don't worry about what other people might think of you, worry about what YOU think of yourself and what YOU need to do for yourself. You're very welcome :-)

    • I went out with him today to tell him that I couldn't be friends with him anymore and that this would be the last time I saw him until I got over him. He wouldn't stop cuddling me. And he kissed me on the forehead. I don't understand..

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What Guys Said 2

  • You found the one guy with a shred of honor. Only in this day would you ask what the heck is going on, honor is such a foreign concept in this world.

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    • Can you explain a bit more about what he could be thinking?

  • I wanted to be friends with a girl that broke mine. why won't you? maybe he is saving you for later lol

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    • I don't want to because it hurts lol :-P

    • it does. but I wanted to ger hurt lol. better then girls who do cutting

What Girls Said 4

  • Probably he enjoys your personality? Your sense of humor? If you don't want to be "just his friend" though, tell him. Because when you are expecting different things from each other then it's difficult to have any connection at all. I think something similar happened to my boyfriend with his ex. She was a nice girl, but she stopped seeing her as someone he found sexually desirable because he could just see her as a friend.

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  • From what you tell us, it sounds like his sexual attraction for you is pretty much gone but his emotional feelings for you are still there.

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  • that doesn't make much sense , maybe he's scared of getting his heart broken

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  • If the guy is truly in love with her, he would rather have her in his life as a friend than not at all although for most it is hard for them and it doesn't usually work. In this case, he may value your relationship a lot and although there is complications in his mind, it may be that you got on well in the relationship and he's hoping that your friendship could work and that you would get on just the same, and depending on the relationship, maybe even better. Or, there is the possibility he doesn't want to hurt you more than he already has and keeping a friendship with you, in his mind, he may think you may take the break up better and won't be as hurt? I could be completely wrong here, but as i don't know anything about the relationship itself or the troubles that have occurred it's the best i can come up with.

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