My girlfriend (now ex) left the United States to return to her home country after graduating. I am having trouble moving on, what should I do?

My girlfriend (22) and I (19) dated for a year. My girlfriend is Japanese and I am American. I started dating her in the summer before her last year knowing full well that after she graduated, she was going to return to her home in Japan. We dated more on the basis of companionship (we are both introverts) than for the long-term end of perhaps getting married in the future. Both of us new that the relationship had an expiry date.

Well, that expiry date was a month ago. The year was up and she moved back home. I drove her to the airport and sent her off myself. I then spent the next 4 days in a deep depression. We both loved each other and we were both the center of each other's universes.

I started feeling a bit better after 2 weeks. My friends told me that I needed to get back into the dating world. They took me to bars, clubs and parties. However, I miss her too much. I don't feel interested in any other girls. I find myself thinking about her all the time. She accidentally forgot one of her shirts at my place. It still has her smell in it and I sleep with it every night. Basically, I am having trouble moving on. Even though I know she is alive and well, it feels like she died and that I am her widow. She is hurting too but to help the healing process, we both agreed to not talk to each other so that we don't use the other person as a crutch. When she landed in Japan, she sent me a message saying how much she loved me and how I am an amazing person. She told me goodbye and that was and will be the last I will hear of her. Whenever I see something that reminds me of her, I instantly feel sad. It can be anything from the restaurant we went to on our first date to a song that she liked on the radio.

Basically, I am having trouble moving on. What should I do


Most Helpful Girl

  • This is sad:( I know when my bf moved away across the country I was heartbroken, but to will take time. Trust me you'll move on and find someone new it just doesn't seem like it right now. But you will:) try to be happy, think of the positives that she's at least back home with her family. Good for her. Keep your head up because this isn't the end of your dating experiences:)


Most Helpful Guy

  • only time is gonna heal this one buddy. there is no quick remedy.


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What Girls Said 2

  • this takes time, if it doesn't feel good to you, don't go out to bars and clubs etc. you need to let this heal and that'll take time

  • Can you meet her in future or teach English over there. It takes patience and time.

    • I won't be able to meet her in the future. Firstly, because I am not allowed to move away from the USA because my parent's forbid it. Secondly, because she told me that her parents won't accept me (I am white and her parents are very traditional). I know for sure that last month was the absolute end.

    • Oh no...😞

What Guys Said 0

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