Why do people do this, don't you realize the pain you cause?

My boyfriend left his dating profile active for 9 months while we've been exclusive so he could read messages he got. He says he likes feeling attractive to other people, "Likes having his ego stroked". I only found out about it because a friend saw it and called me to ask if we'd broken up.

Then he continued to receive pictures from a girl he had a one night stand with while on vacation before we met. They still talk through email sometimes. When I asked him why he said he was showing the pictures off to his friends. He's really proud of having a "one night stand on a beach with a hot chick". What hurts the most about that is that he has no pictures of me let alone showing my pictures off to his friends.

Why do people do this to the person they are in a relationship with? If you aren't happy leave, the betrayal and pain you cause is so much worse.
What's interesting is that I would've never questioned his faithfulness if my friend hadn't called. He treats me like I've always wanted to be treated. I'm in shock right now, I didn't know he was this guy. I just want to know why people do this?


Most Helpful Guy

  • What a complete jerk and narcissist. Get rid of him, he is in love with himself more than he is with you. Go find someone who will give you all their undivided attention, who actually cares about your feelings and will strive to make you feel important.

    Any guy who will brag about doing someone else while in a relationship with another girl is immature.

    I hate to be blunt but your best course of action is just move on and forget him and try to never get involved with another guy similar to him.

    • "Any guy who will brag about doing someone else while in a relationship with another girl is immature." I agree with you 100%.

      I thought he was a different guy. He is so different from anyone I've dated before.

      Thanks for the advice.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Please put the hurt aside to realize this is a blessing. The guy is a self-centered asshole who does not care about you, or that hurts you. Please DUMP him, cut him out, and MOVE ON. He is not ready to settle down and all he can do is hurt you.

    • Neither one of us is ready to 'settle' down anytime soon. At least the way I understood it we wanted to be monogamous but weren't thinking far into the future, like living together, marriage, kids, etc. Just taking it a day at a time.

      I know you are right. That's what I would tell any of my friends.

      Thanks for the advice.

    • Yes I understand but basic kindness when you're being intimate with someone is expected. There's no reason for him to be mean.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Is your dating profile closed?

    That guy sounds like me, is he by any chance a leo?
    Don't worry, if he is, than he just needs to be tamed and he will be yours forever.

    Why people do this, you mean man, simple ego and justice.

    First it is flattering to get attention, you girls are used to that since your breasts started to grow us guys not so much. Girls give guys only attention later, when they seek a father for their children and a walking atm.

    Second, it takes for a woman, a mini skirt and 10 minutes at a bar to find a sex partner, guys need at least a week for that. So some men, like to keep up to 5 current phone numbers in reserve just in case the girl, cheats on them.

    I would not read to much into it, and just see it as an attack on your relationship. You were happy before your friend called. Is this "friend" by any chance jealous and wants to destroy your luck. If you now give into the drama, the goal is reached.

    Talk to your guy, tell him that it really bothers you. Just be sure that if he is not allowed to talk to other girls, you never ever talk to another man again, this goes both ways.

    • My dating profile has been deleted since he asked me to be exclusive, I didn't bring that up. I assumed a boyfriend would do the same with his profile without me having to ask.

      He is a gemini.

      You basically said what he did. Girls rarely seem interested in him and it's nice when he gets compliments. And just to be clear about who I am, I never take his money and I always pay my half. I don't want a man to take care of me I take care of myself.

      This friend isn't jealous just wanted to know what was up because I was so damn happy with this guy. She is not a gossip person.

      We have talked about it. He apologizes and says he will do whatever it takes to fix this and gain my trust. But for me his actions say I'm not enough. I don't know how you get that trust back. I feel that if I stay with him I am saying I'm weak and not standing up for myself.

      Thanks for your advice, I would really like to believe you but I don't have a lot of faith right now.

    • Sorry to hear that, well gemini is for me untrustworthy. They say one thing and than do the other.
      Maybe he is different, but I have a PTSD from a gemini. I avoid them like hell.

What Girls Said 1

  • People with no morals do this. He is a jerk.

    • Sadly I agree with you and would tell any of my friends the same thing if their significant other did this to them.


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