I'm in love with my ex and we've started hooking up. It's messing with my head. What do I do?

We were friends for years before we dated, and we stayed friends after we broke up. We started hooking up a couple weeks ago - no sex, just making out and touching. We didn't date long and we've never slept together.

We talked about it after the first time, and he said he'd been thinking about getting back together for a while but he doesn't feel like he's ready; he doesn't want to try again unless he feels he can really commit. I agreed with him and said the timing wasn't good (on his part. I'm more than ready to commit and I think he knows that). But at the time, I thought us hooking up was a one-time thing. I never guessed that it might happen again.

The first time it happened, he was drunk and I was sober. The second time, we were both tipsy. He kept calling me beautiful that time and said "I've always thought so." And at one point, he said "I'll take a guess... this isn't just happening because you're drunk, is it?" to which I answered, "Of course not." But the third time it happened, we were both completely sober, which took me off guard. Now I can no longer use the excuse "he was drunk."

Anyway, now that it's happened a few times, I can't decide if I want it to continue or not. As much as I love being close to him again, I definitely don't want to be just a physical relationship for him. I want to mean more to him than that. I love him so much. He's a really special guy and I know I won't find another guy like him. I even hope to marry him eventually.

So should I stop hooking up with him? I've already decided I don't want to have sex with him while we're not together.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Hi. Your story sounds quite familiar to me.
    Well, if you want my honest opinion, if you want him to get serious you should stop the physical interaction. Sure you should still be friends and do stuff together (cinema, cafe), but he should know if he wants more (kissing, touching, sex) he should commit to you. You love him and you are hurting yourself!

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    • Thanks, this is what I needed to hear :)

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What Guys Said 2

  • You want him, but you're unsure. Hooking up is fine, but you don't wanna do it too much, especially if you're not together. You're already showing signs of that you like him a lot. If its worth it, get together

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  • I say just end it because like this you're just getting more attached.
    It will be very hard but force yourself and you look for someone better... and what I would do is, stay single

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What Girls Said 1

  • If he isn't willing to commit, end it.

    It'll be hard and take time ti get over him, but you can't wait for him to decide how he feels and what he wants.

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