Confused about my relationship with my ex-boyfriend and what he wants from me?

4 days ago, my ex broke up with me saying he wanted to 'figure himself out' he feels like he 'can't make me happy' and 'can't be with me while he figures himself out'. I know he wants to be a better person (personal reasons which I cannot share) which is why he wants to figure himself out. I always like to talk about the future with him and we used to be so perfect together.. he wanted to marry me and we used to tell people that yes we were engaged. I suppose he lost his feelings for me or something and didn't really want to think about the future anymore. I've read in so many places that I need to give him space and not talk to him to make it show what he's missing and if breaking up with me was what he truly wanted while he wanted to 'fix things'. So I tried that, yet he continues to message me, and flirt with me, being sexual and stuff. Yesterday I told him that on Friday a guy asked me out (he was already msging me and I know he would've appreciated it if I told him) and he got jealous and further in the conversation I asked him what he was to me if people were to ask that and he said "Soulmate." And then he apologized for saying it as he did not want to hurt me. Today when he was msging me and flirting with me he told me he wanted me to do something "sexual" and don't get me wrong, we're both innocent xD and we both haven't had sex yet and it was innocent play. During all this flirting, he was pretty shy and so was I. So I asked him "what do you see me as?" and he says "I..Idk.. which is why its strange.." and I told him I missed him and he told me to let go of the topic and said he just wanted to "have fun with me". Of course I asked him what he means by that and he referred to playing games like 'Osu' and 'League'.
The thing is I know he loves me but I don't know how to make him miss me to get him back when he keeps msging me. I know he's not seeing someone 'behind my back' because he's not like that and has never lied to me.
[BOTH UPDATES ARE THE CONTINUATION OF MY POST] So, I just need help I'm17-18 & he's 18-19


Recommended Questions


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 0

Be the first guy to share an opinion
and earn 1 more Xper point!

What Girls Said 2

  • You're both so young relax and don't worry.

  • although your friend is going through some tough issues right now, you cannot still be expected to continue through this as though you were still in a relationship with him.
    yes he may need to sort himself out but he also needs to be straight with you and honest with what he wants from you. from what you've written, he seems like he's lost interest but still enjoys the sexual part, like most guys would.
    he's even changed the subject when you tried to work out exactly what was going on between you two. so from the sounds of things, he's using you. you've even written that 'he just wanted to "have fun with me"'. which is never a good sign if you're still in love with the boy. especially when he will not specify any more what you are to him.
    you need to give him some tough love tbh. if he's said he wants to figure himself out, he can't do that and still continue to expect you guys to still be in a 'relationship' when it suited him

    if you want to make him miss you, tell him you're no longer interested in the 'dirty talk'. explain to him that you don't want to be hurt by him like that. and say to him that you'd be willing to continue once he 'sorts his life out'.
    if he's really keen he'll come back, he'll know how special of a woman you are and be the perfect boyfriend.
    good luck!

    • I don't think he meant 'having fun with me' in a sexual way as I stated before, because I had asked him what he meant and he meant it as in playing video games, nothing sexual. Plus its the first time he's been sexual with me in a long time (from exams and other factors) however it is a possibility that is what he wants but even when I denied him after he told me that it was strange that we were even talking about this. He still talks to me and checks up on me and is also protective over me.

    • Show All
    • That thank you so much.. ^-^ I'll let you know when he does something like that again and I'll tell you how it went. Also when he does these things and says "he's afraid to hurt me" I'll ask him how would it hurt me. In a way I'll challenge him to tell me the truth of what he's think about.

    • it's okay, yes please, let me know how it all goes :)
      good luck

Recommended myTakes