Improving myself with my ex in the back of my mind?

So my girlfriend broke up with me about 4 months ago and I am still heartbroken. I am 27 and never dated much, so I don't have a lot of experience with this.

We dated for about 2 months but were hanging out a lot before that. When she broke up with me she said it was bc I was too serious/anxious about my life goals and the future (it was an issue way before I met her) and that she never felt comfortable in our relationship. She went back to her ex and got an apartment with him, so odds are that we are not getting back together :(

Anyway, I'm trying to move on now and am trying to relax more in life (like I said it was always an issue but I guess she was the tipping point in me seeing the consequences of being too serious) but I can't help but think that even though I am doing this for me, a part of me wants to make sure she sees that I am trying to change in the way she said by casually bringing up my changes so she might reconsider our relationship. Logically I know that's crazy but I can't help the emotional side that misses her and wants her back :(

Side note: We work in different depts at the same company so I see her every now and then and we are ok with talking like coworkers (when she's around I can handle myself but when I'm alone it tears me up inside)

Is this normal or should I reevaluate my motivations? I feel sad thinking that I am making these changes solely for her yet I know they are for me and any future partner I may have. How would you go about dealing with these feelings? Any help is appreciated, thanks for reading my story :)


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