Me [22 F] with my boyfriend [23 M] 7 months, do I keep putting up with it, or tell him we should call it off?

We've been together for 7 months. In the beginning everything was great. We would hang out together all the time, go out to eat, work out, so almost everything.
Over the past little while he is taking a very demanding course though. I only see him at most 2 times a week, during which he's stressed and all he talks about is school. Along with the decrease in us hanging out, he has also recently started working out without me, went vegetarian so we don't get to eat out anymore, he also is no longer half as interested in sex as he used to be if at all.

I have brought this up to him many times, and he blames it on school. I can understand this, but the thing is I have been patient with him and this or that since we first got together. He always has excuses as to why he doesn't want to go to a certain event or sleep together, but I'm getting to my wits end. I was thinking I'll hold out till the summer when he'll have more time. Sure enough, he decides to take a very demanding and time consuming course so again, a few months of me waiting around for him to do his thing.

He'll be very sweet, apologize and say he wants to do all this stuff via text, then when we see each other later in the day he's super tired and has to leave after an hour.

Do I risk sounding like a bitch and just tell him I feel like we no longer have nothing in common, as we don't do anything together regularly? Do I continue waiting, or have any better ideas?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • School makes one a wiser person and increases chances of success, so of course he wants to do well there: what he is doing now will bear on the rest of his life. Such changes as his becoming a vegetarian suggest that he is giving deep thought to serious matters as his studies bring his mind into focus and he becomes a better person.

    His committing himself to such a challenge shows that he is an ambitious and serious person and would therefore make a good life partner. You must be equally serious and ambitious to be a good life partner for him. An alternative for you, therefore, might be to enroll yourself in school to as well as understand a bit the pressure he is experiencing and, more important, bring yourself into better focus.

    But please! If you want to split with him consider waiting until he has a school break. You can then break the news to him when he is not under such pressure and better able to cope with a separation from you. And here I will suggest something maybe a bit unorthodox. Parting with close friends is never pleasant, but it would be kinder and even ethical if you continue your twice-weekly meetings with him while also discreetly and clandestinely dating other guys as you choose.

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    • I am taking classes, and also support him working towards his goal career. I always wish him the best of luck and understand that he needs to devote lots of energy & time to do well in academics. However, when the academics span the entire calendar year and he is unable to devote barely any quality time with his significant other, perhaps he just can no longer sustain a relationship.

      I've ever tried telling him these things when he asks me what's up and he quickly sweet talks me via text, saying 'baby, i'm really sorry. i promise i'll work to make you more happy when the exam is over', only to show up for a date the next day exhausted and calling it a day after an hour.

      Truly exhausting and wearing me thin. Can't wait till his course is over, it's driving me insane. x_x

    • Well maybe having a relationship in itself is too stressful for him as he tries to give school priority. Seven months is not terribly long for a partnership, so you might be able to squeeze out of it in a way that serves your own best interests, by which I mean a solution that will not burden you with guilt. But whatever your do, do it without apology or regret.

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 1

  • Break the news to him. If you lose feelings, it will pretty much stay that way. Let him know as soon as possible, if you drag it out it may hurt him even more. No only that, but for all you know, he might be feeling the exact sale way he just doesn't know how to break up with you. I say just go for it and look for happiness elsewhere.

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