Casual Conversation with my ex. Good or Bad idea?

My ex and I broke up about 5 weeks ago after a heated argument after a night out [we're both in our mid twenties]. Since then it's been a rollercoaster ride of emotions. Days after the break up my ex went nuclear and blocked or unfollowed me on numerous social media outlets. I inturn decided to write a handwritten note and explain all my feelings and regrets for the incident [I also wanted to get this letter to her before she went back to her families home state for a period of time].

About three weeks after the incident she responded to my letter and explained that she wasn't ready to talk and needed sometime to herself. She also asked if the feelings that I shared in the letter were still there? I clearly replied yes they are still there.

Since then, she has taken baby steps towards communicating with me. Last week, she initiated conversation with me on three separate days. The first, was over an issue involving Facebook where she was heartbroken over the fact that I had recently accepted two friends who were female. I consider this type of issue out of my control. Especially, since I was under the impression that she had blocked me on the site.

The other two times she initiated conversation with me was when she was lonely & when something positive reminded her of me in a positive light. She's openly said that she's still healing and doesn't want to discuss the past or argue. But, doesn't mind if I text her if I'm feeling the urge to talk to her.

I initiated conversation with her on Wednesday of this week and overall it was an alright conversation. I guess in my mind I find casual conversation to be a bit offsetting. Especially when the overwhelming problem has not been discussed yet. Also, I don't know if by initiating conversation with her a lot is a sign of me trying too hard or giving her too much attention.

Should I hold off on speaking to her for awhile or should i try to spark more casual conversation with her?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Don't initiate conversation, but don't sent conversation if she chooses to initiate one. Space is a good thing, but you don't want to be rude

    • Kind of confused by your first sentence. Can you explain?

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    • Gotcha, thanks for the heads up. When she has messaged me I have kept things light. I've also complimented her.

      Funny enough, she just requested to follow me on instagram about ten minutes ago.

    • Good. Friendly, but not too friendly!

Most Helpful Guy

  • Short answer, go ahead. Just don't jump back into a relationship with her. Leave her at friend status.

    • Kind of difficult for us to just be "friends" in my opinion. We dated for 15 months and were each others outlets during rough times. Hell, going a month without seeing her face has been difficult for me.

      I'm not necessarily looking to jump back into the same relationship with her. We definitely need to establish some boundaries before doing so. But, I don't want to slip into that friends zone with her. Because realistically I don't think you can be friends with your ex.

    • Yeah, I see what you mean. But yeah, keep the lines open.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Good, if you want to get back together.

  • Keep the lines of communication open.

    • Is it bad that I've initiated conversation with her twice this week? One time was to straight up the whole "Facebook friend request situation" and the other was just casual conversation on Wednesday.

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    • I wouldn't bother with him. He kind of showed his cards with the not returning your phone call or at least texting.

      Also speak of the devil... my ex just requested to follow me on instagram...

    • See, told you to wait and see what she did lol

      And yeah, that guy is full of it.

What Guys Said 0

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