How long does it take to get over a 4 year relationship?

I'm so sad and hurt breaking up with my fiance of 4years he doesn't seem to want to change, and basically we don't love each other anymore to even try... it hurts me deeply and I don't known if he even cares?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well it depends on a few factors. Did he end it or did you or was it mutual? Most people have a rule to never try to change a person unless it's totally something that HAS to change (like really bad habits and such.) If you truly don't still love him in your heart it shouldn't take to long to get over it and start fresh and new, but if you do still love him it can take a very long time if you cannot let the feelings go. He might be over you if he no longer loves you deep down inside too. I wouldn't worry about how he is feeling too much. Focus on you and YOU first in this situation. Trust me he is doing just that right now as well. Good luck and hope this helps you! :D

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    • He's doing what? Focusing on himself?

    • Yes I mean he is focusing on getting himself over you and I think that rather than have you worrying about how he feels as well as yourself you should focus on getting over him. If you worry about his feelings you will just be spending time guessing. Take care of your emotions I say first. Get over him and you will be more free again. Do you get me now? I think you did anyways but just want to be sure okay. Cheers :D

Most Helpful Girl

  • Men deal with feelings in different ways, they don't show as much as girls do.4years is a long time maybe he still cares but not as much as he used to. It takes time and if you didn't love each anymore well I guess it won't be difficult to let it go. Sometimes we stay in the past thinking what if. In time the pain will go away.

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What Guys Said 5

  • I doubt that it will take 4 years in this case. As you say, you don't love each other any more. It might take 4 years of sleepless nights if you loved him dearly and he left without giving you a reason. Even that gets easier after you've done it a few times. You can reduce that down to weeks or days.

    I find the best way to burn bridges is to go out and get banged, ASAP.

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  • Depends on how much you felt for him. If a lot expect a good long time if not much then it won't take that long.

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    • We were very much in love, for a long time.

  • I was told to get completely over someone it takes half the time you were with them.. duuno guess depends on the individual.

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  • as bubblebrain said - it depends on a lot of things.

    But really, it'll probably take a decent amount of time - and there is nothing wrong w/ that.

    Also, keep in mind, there are different types of "getting over". I'm over my ex-gf who i was together w/ for 4 years. We TRULY broke off our contact last holiday season. But by this kind of "getting over" I mean I'm looking elsewhere, no longer yearn for her, am ok w/ my and her future being w/ someone else, etc, but I still think of her. Still think of the great moments we shared, as well as the bad ones and how I can learn from it.

    So it's not like she's completely out my mind - she NEVER will be. But I'm ok w/ that. I'm over the "attachment" I guess is the better way to put it. And that's what's important. As long as you don't let the attachment hinder you and your own progress to finding someone else, then you'll be fine.

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    • btw, it took me probably...4 or 5 months to get to that point of "getting over"

  • time.. my ex fiancee burned me 5 years ago.. just time... it sucks..

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What Girls Said 2

  • I can't say how long, per say, but it will happen. Best thing to do is to have no contact (unless you have kids together)

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  • If you don't love each other then why suffer? Time to explore new things.

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