How do I move on? I wasted 3years of my life/My youth that I can't get back?

I've recently separated from my bf of 3yrs/childs father... I'm about 5 months pregnant and I decided to end the relationship because I felt that the way our relationship was going, it wouldn't be healthy for myself nor my unborn. I told him he doesn't have to be with me to be a father to his child and who would I be to deny him to be in our sons life.

While with him he has cheated, lied and made me feel worthless but still claimed to want a life with me which I didn't get till this day I still don't know what he was thinking.

We lived together, no communication, unless he wanted something from me. He would go out to parties, cookouts, get together and left me home... alone. I never thought another human being can make me hate myself so much.
Everyone knew the sacrifices I made for us, and that's why he wanted me in his life, how good I always treated him, especially when he had no one... I was the one who was always there but I never got the same back.

When I finally opened my eyes and left... I found out I was pregnant. So not thinking straight... I went back, wanting to give him a chance to be a dad (being this is both our first child) but again... he was good for a couple of days and went back to the same things... going out coming in late 4/5 in the morning while I stayed home... alone.

He gives me no credit for everything I went through for him and everything I've done. He rather gives other people the credit while he walks all over me... we never resolved anything... we would just sleep with our heads on different ends of the bed, ignoring each other. I was pregnant with his kid and he ignored me like an animal... we didn't talk about our plans for when the child came, he wasn't saving and his focus was on his friends... That's when I decided to leave. My heart had just about enough, even though I left and we haven't communicated I still sent him a picture of his sons ultrasound from my recent appointment... he didn't say anything. its okay.


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  • It sounded like you need to get that off your chest cause that was more of a rant then a question

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    • Ran out of space, so I just left it as it is. But I guess I did need to get it off my chest.

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    • Trust me, I know. And that's not even the half of it. Sad I wasted so much time but I got a son out of it.

    • Well if you want to talk you can message me anytime I'm glad to help

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