I have a horrible fear of rejecting people. How do I get over the hump?

I've had a girlfriend for the last year and we've known each other for 5. We did the off and on thing for a while and right now we've been long distance for about a year. I met someone else and I feel absolutely aweful. It's been a few months and I just can't seem to do it. The thought of breaking up with her gives me a nervous breakdown, and I'm scared to death. I don't know why I feel this way, and want to overcome it. Girls, what do I do? How should I think in order to get this done?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Sweetie, you are completely normal. Everyone worries about the same thing. This relationship, while it benefited you for a while is no longer good for you. You just have to be honest with your partner and get it over with. She won't find anyone, anytime soon, so don't worry about that. But the fact that you found someone who makes you happy and what have you is amazing. You deserve to be happy, and if your current relationship makes you have second doubts, and this second person makes you feel wonderful and whole, then you have to go for it, otherwise you will regret it forever and eventually resent your spouse/partner. How much do you love the new person?

    • I love her to death. When we started talking, it was like we knew each other forever, and the love comes super easy, which is something I'm not use to.

    • Show All
    • Yes. She is not comfortable with herself and unstable, that's why she acts that way. Women who are that insecure cheat so you don't cheat first. You have to be careful with women like that. Are you still thinking you're going to have a nervous breakdown? Do you love each the same and that's why you're so hung up? Also what's the age difference on each? That way I can figure out exactly what's best for you...

    • Yea I'm starting to figure that out. She didn't cheat. She just left. I took her back every time because I loved her. Go figure: typical nice guy. Honestly, I'm not sure what's hanging me up. I have a deep rooted connection with her though, and I can't explain it. I'm just stuck, and it's the first time that's happened. I love them both, but that's probably not a good thing. The age difference is 29 vs. 33, and I'm 36.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Don't feel awful. This shows that you have a big heart. You found someone who suits you much better. I think that if you think of your feelings much more than the other person's then you could be in a much better place, when it comes to rejecting them. No one wants to see someone that they care about hurt, yet, sometimes you have to think about yourself and your own feelings.

    • You're absolutely right. And I do have a big heart. I don't want to hurt anyone.

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    • No, its not stupid. Just focus on your own happiness at the present time. Always think that there is going to be someone better out there for you, if they end up finding someone that they really love.

    • Have you experienced something like this before?

  • Awwww. If only all guys were like this. Honestly, as hard as it is, she'll appreciate it more in the long run if you're honest with her. Tell her the exact situation you're in. If you lead her on, you're only preventing yourself and her from seeing other people and potentially being happy with someone else. Its only fair to the both of you that you tell her. There also shouldn't be any doubt is ending it with her, since you posted a question out of guilt. Don't worry about hurting her feelings (I mean yes, keep her feelings in mind, but don't let it be the deciding factor in staying in a relationship). Yes, she may be sad for sometime, but she will get over it and things will work themselves out.

  • Just tell her long distance isn't working out.


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  • My sister said get a friend to do it for you through text.

    • Last resort I suppose lol

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