Do you ever completely get over an ex? How do you know when?

I'm over a month through complete no contact (no social media, phone, nothing) in trying to get over my ex. My initial goal was 60 days and over half way there.

I feel it's been successful, in that I feel much more in control of my emotions with regards to her as I don't feel as sad or depressed when thinking of her, and much more at peace.

That being said, I still think about her all the time. I think part of the problem might be that I'm home from school for the summer and so haven't met any new girls and likely won't until I go back to school in fall. But nonetheless, I think about her all the time during the day, and what happened, and I think it's given me clarity and helped me learn from it, and part of me still hopes maybe things would be different someday, though I'm not entirely holding out on this, I realize it is kind of a pipe dream and things will happen as they are meant to be.

I'm just wondering for others if you still think of your ex even when you're "over them" or how you really know you're over them, or if those feelings ever completely go away?


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think there will always be a special place in your heart for her. You will always have a soft spot for her, but over time you will meet and care about someone new. Eventually, that new person will take a bigger place in your heart and you will be happy again.

    I do have an ex that I still think about and miss time to time. However, I care about my current boyfriend more and see us having a future together, rather than me and the ex.

    If I were you, I would continue to do what you've been doing and try to hang out with friends, do what you like, and not look for love. Let someone come to you whenever you least expect it, rather than trying to look for it. If you do activities or are busy with friends, you'll be too busy to think about the ex.


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What Girls Said 2

  • The feelings go away eventually.

  • Been four months without him.

    Everyone moves at their own speed so its likely that the day I wake up and say "I haven't thought about him in awhile" and the day you wake up and say, "I haven't thought about her in awhile" will be far apart. I think it is important that you hear from someone what helped me a lot:

    Right now you are sitting on your bed, in front of your computer, even with your friends thinking about how happy you were and how amazing she was. This is a lie. When you miss a person you are not going to remember the bad you are not going to remember the arguments or the times that you just didn't get her. You are going to remember the first date, kiss and "I love you". Its helpful I have found to keep a mental list of the bad times to review when you want her back. You broke up for a reason if you are the dumper or the dumpee doesn't matter.

    There are going to be days when you feel fine and then there are going to be days that make your heart feel like you have watched the titanic, but instead of feeling like Rose on that huge as door- you my friend- are Leonardo frozen and swimming with the fishies.

    Love sucks, but so does many things in life. Smile and keep going.

    • I think that's part of what makes it difficult is we never really had bad times, it was more just that she had some hang ups outside of our relationship (family/friends) and wasn't really prepared for the commitment. She often said things felt right with me, but appeared to have maybe been hurt in the past.

      And on my end she was my first girl that I really cared about, and I really was unsure of myself and lacked confidence, which I think killed it a bit too.

      On a personality basis though, we really clicked and I just feel like the timing sucked, and there weren't any "fatal flaws" in our relationship aside from the things I mentioned, and we were both valued communication but weren't the best at it. But at the same time we are both only 20 so I feel like it's normal that we'd have flaws like that.

      I dunno, it's just hard to let go when I can't convince myself that she was wrong for me, or that we weren't meant to be together

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