My parents were arguing last night. I've heard both their sides of the problem but should I bud in?

I can't stand seeing them unhappy. i want them to have a solution and be happy but i dont want to jump in and start taking sides. I'm not sure what will happen but they have mentioned divorcing in their arguments.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Okay, here's what I think:

    You have a stake in this just as much as anyone. You're a family. When they chose to bring you into this life, they pretty much signed an agreement to share their lives with you, that doesn't just mean during the good times, that also means during the bad.

    The hope of being in a healthy family situation got thrown out the window long ago. This may be THEIR fight, but it's YOUR result as well.

    With that said, do NOT scream and holler along with them. Sit down with both of them (at the SAME TIME if possible, if not, separately) and talk calmly about your feelings. Tell them how you feel and how everyone would be impacted. Perspective is crucial during an argument, and you, as their child, a STRONG if not TOP priority in their lives, should at the VERY LEAST be heard.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Sure, you are a neutral third party who has heard both sides and knows both of them well. Who could be a better arbiter of this situation?

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  • If anything else they will be more quite around you

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  • It's not your place.

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What Girls Said 5

  • When I was growing up, my parents used to fight a lot, and I have to admit, the 'Fighting' would get Hot and Heated, even Mentioning the Big "D." However, through thick and thin they are still together, minor mouth things now.
    All you can do is stay out of it, do Not ever take sides. But if they Ask your Opinion, you're old enough to give one. And it might help in their 'Solution' to get a 'Second' opinion. Other than that, I never took sides, although each of them Would state their case to me. And being so young at the time, I would just listen and not say anything. Today, I would voice myself but Only if Asked.
    I know it's hard on you seeing things for what it Might be and Is right now. But many married couples fight all the time, and in the end, they 'have a solution' that they feel is best to Be-----Happy again.
    My parents bellow on their Beguine by bringing up the past years later. It's a continued closure for them.
    Good luck. xx

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    • If a couple fights all the time that is very unhealthy.

    • Yes, I Absolutely agree... But Love is in there somewhere, which keeps them together, for some people cannot live with each other, Cannot live without one another... xx

  • I know the two people that answered said "it's not your place", but it kinda of is, isn't it?
    I mean, they raised you and loved you and been there for you. And, everything they do for
    you is because they want to see you happy. And, that's all you want. You don't want to see your
    parents yell at each other and hearing them say the word "divorce", makes you more
    inclined as their child to want to step in and help. In case maybe they were SO fired up,
    they couldn't see the others point of view. I get it , I really do.

    My parents, have been married for 37 going on 38yrs. And, being an only child and living
    in a house where you can hear everything. I'm more aware of what's going on between my parents, then most children are. I know about there finicinal situation and stuff like that. And, let me tell you. I've
    stepped in many times in the attempt to help and it only made things worse. Because, my dad or my mom felt ganged up on. And, then everybody in the house gets upset (including the dog lol). So, I know you want to help. But, maybe for now you should just let things simmer down for a bit.

    And, for the record. People say things in the heat of the moment ALL the time and don't a mean
    a word of what they said. I don't know how many times divorce has come up in your parents arguments, but maybe it was just said in the frastrastion of things. But, to answer your question again. Just stay out of the fight for now, you might unintentionally make things worse by getting
    involved. However, I do suggested that if you're worried about them divorcing. That you ask them if
    "there's anything you need to know" and that "you unintentionally heard them arguing the other night
    and the word divorce mention. And, you were wondering if it's something you should be concerned
    about". I'm sure they'd be happy to answer that question.

    I hope I helped you some and good luck : )

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  • Its not your place as a child to butt in; especially if they are not asking for your input

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    • Ok thank you.

    • Show All
    • haha, we are all talking at the same time. Who were you talking to asker?

    • Lol I was talking to kambo. But I already had my chance to say something and I didn't

  • No that's there business.

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  • No. This isn't your business. Let your parents resolve their own problems

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