Am I technically cheating on him?

So my boyfriend of 4 years and I broke up in January, and I cut him out completely. I deleted and blocked him on everything, blocked his phone number, and I even moved so he couldn't find me. The change was literally over night, he said something really mean to me, I told him it was over, I left his apartment and changed/blocked/deleted everything. He was just an ass hole and I was tired of putting up with his abusive behavior. He said demeaning things to me, got physical with me (holding me against walls, grabbing my arm, etc.,) and cheated on me multiple times, so I left.. but my ex's mother, sisters, friends, and even the people who go to his church wouldn't stop calling/texting me BEGGING me to give my ex another chance, because he's 'lost without me' and 'he's realized his mistake' and all of this other bs. I finally had it and just agreed to speak with him. I face timed him for the 1st time about 2 months ago, and he apologized. He's never asked me to be his girlfriend again, but we talk everyday. He tells me loves me every single day now that I've unblocked his number, and we face time on occasion, and he just constantly reminisces about the time we were happy. I recently got a really grave diagnosis for something terminal, and he sent me the most beautiful bouquet of flowers, he's been there for me for every treatment I've had to undergo, and just does sweet, little things for me daily, and he just really seems like a changed person. He's so in love with me. I don't love him anymore, but I feel really guilty because I'm seeing another guy now. It's reallly casual, we're really great friends, like he is also really here for me for my treatment and he makes me smile and laugh and I like him a lot as a friend, but we also have sex. It's casual, neither of us want a relationship, but I feel guilty for seeing him despite my ex's efforts to win me back. What are your thoughts? Thanks

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You are not committed to your ex and your feeling bad about seeing a new man is just because you have a good pure heart and you don't want to hurt anyone, especially the man you used to love. You are not doing anything wrong.

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE

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What Guys Said 3

  • Yeah, if either guy knew about the other it'd be red flags all over the place regardless of what your current situation with either of them are. Stop talking to you ex.

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  • You're cheating on your current guy with your ex.

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    • He's not my boyfriend though, we're strictly just friends.

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    • I'm not banging my ex... at all..

    • I text my ex and we've talked on the phone, face timed, and I've seen him all but twice since January, in which all I did was give him a quick hug.

  • Everyone deserves a second chance

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What Girls Said 2

  • Ok you need to make it clear to him that you want to just be friends because you are seeing someone else. But you can't have sex with your ex that tells you he loves you and crap.. he's still hung up on you he has hope it's going to work... I wouldn't say your cheating per say but he might.. and your other bf might.. Your definitely playing both guys you need to figure out what you want. Because this behavior isn't fair to either guys think about it.

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    • He isn't my boyfriend, neither of them are my boyfriend. My guy friend (not my ex) says he doesn't want me to get back with my ex because he treated me badly, plus he likes our friends with benefits deal that we have right now.

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    • No, I'm not friends with benefits with my ex. I text him a little throughout the day and he occasionally calls me. One time I called him and asked him to pick me up from a doctor's appt and he did, which was nice of him, but we don't hang out in person much at all. I haven't told him that I loved him since before we broke up in January. I feel bad that I maybe giving him false hope for a relationship.

    • no but you said you had sex with him so I don't know that's where i got that whole thing. but yeah i think you might be giving him false hope.

  • The illness and all aside, he was abusive so you fell out of love :[ THE END. You should not feel guilty for finding someone new. It's cool that he's "changed" now but he made his bed and now has to lie in it.
    It's normal to stop loving someone like that.. tell him you want friendship only at this point.

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