I need a man's view on my rollercoaster relationship?

In defacto 2 years, started to argue, nothing too bad, but was happening often. BF cuts me off emotionally and physically for 3 weeks and is not an open talker. Finally get him to talk and he tells me he can't go on like this and he wants to move out. Next day he tells me he has a place and he moved out the next day. He lied to me about how he got the house and why so fast. I found out he knew about it a week or so before. He says he did this so we can miss each other and look forward to seeing each other and go back to dating. I took this hard but can understand his logic. Now its been 3 weeks and he seems happy and is busy living his life. He doesn't visit as often as I would like and I am struggling. He has no idea and is not an emotional or open guy. He says he loves me and he is doing this for us. I am finding it hard to 'rewind' from a defacto to hardly seeing him. I feel like throwing in the towel. I try and talk to him and he thinks I'm giving him shit. Is he being honest with me or just letting me down gently. He lives 3 minutes away and I can't see why he can't visit for a coffee each day. I'm not the most patient person and I find it very difficult telling him how I feel as he just doesn't get it. What is by BF thinking and how do I explain my feelings without him thinking I'm giving him shit? How can he move out and think everything is going to be better, when I feel so much worse? He knows how I am feeling but he just goes all distant. Help me with some perspective please. Thanks

Updates:
Yip cheers guys. Seeing someone else. Time to put me first

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Ok, sorry to say, but the relationship is over. You need to be with someone you can talk to. You can't talk to this guy, he won't listen or let you in. Any decent guy would have sat you down to talk about why he isn't happy. Him simply moving out is a really bad move. It shows he has no interest in making it work or trying to fix the problem. He is running from the issue, or trying to avoid it. Him saying moving out is the first step to fixing things is bullshit! I say he lost interest in you. Getting your own place and moving out without letting your partner know is a classic break up move. He played it perfectly. No fights, no problems, no confrontations or conflicts. Easy get-a-way! Don't take it personally. I don't think you have the greatest connection with him, and he probably doesn't have the emotional ability to connect fully with you anyway. I think you will be much happier with someone else!

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What Guys Said 2

  • There might be a possibility that he's now seeing other people, but that wouldn't be my 1st guess. Seems to me like he's quite emotionally and physically independent. Much more then you at any rate. The problem might be that he now found the perfect arrangement. He lives his independence and sees you when he feels like it. The problem is that it doesn't make you happy.

    Relationship are about compromises, but now that he's gone, it might be hard to reel him back in unless you convince him that you will correct some of the things that drove him away (might be related to giving him some space).

    Not sure if this helps.

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  • You need to love yourself more. Never depend on anyone for your happiness. My guess is he is cheating on you. Even if he is not you should move on.

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